Inspiration
Self-care express: In the quiet corners of the year
Friends, there was a very important thing I forgot to tell you last month. We were talking about letting ourselves know the truth.
I should have said: Sometimes knowing is enough—The End! We don’t always have to take immediate action. We can take a beat instead, and just allow the knowing.
Maybe you decide never to act on your knowledge at all. This is also allowed.
Especially if the seemingly required action is really gonna cost you.
Lao Tzu said, “Rushing into action, you fail.” Therefore gather ye pillows, pile them high, and settle in for an episode of new Matlock and a glass of wine, he did not add. But would he object? I can’t be sure.
As for inaction, I hope the opportune moment may present itself soon. Perhaps in that gap between the December holidays and the New Year. I always think of this as a very wooly time, a bit of soft padding in the year. My moment to do anything I want, including nothing much at all.
As you have no doubt discovered, my main job with self-care is chief permission dispenser. I’m not speaking of harmful holiday indulgence (although you probably have to go pretty far before I agree a thing is harmful). Permission to give yourself what you need is all I’m saying here.
Because if you’re anything like me, by the end of the year there’s always a lot of deferred R&R crying out for attention.
Now my other main job here (I admit it’s a selfish one!) is to hear from you. I LOVE knowing what is going on with you. I am curious, as we round the corner of the old year and the new comes into view, where are you at with rest and inaction?
In dire need of rest? Already deep in the bosom of quietude? Somewhere in the middle? I would love to know, so pop your thoughts in the comments below.
May your holidays be full of peace and joy, and your 2025 the exact right balance of ease and thrills, action and rest.
Resources: Rest.
Image credit: Album Quilt, Sarah Ann Wilson, 1854, Art Institute of Chicago. Used with permission.
Thank you Max for this thoughtful and timely post.
At this festive season we are all encouraged to be good to other people but it is important to be good to ourselves too and sometimes we need a reminder …and permission!
as i was reading the post i had a memory of the best bit of advice my late mother ever gave me just after my son (eldest of my 4 children) was born
“Never stand when you can sit and never sit when you can lie down”.
Merry Christmas everyone and as a proud Scot i would be failing in my traditional duty if i didn’t wish you all a Happy New Year when it comes.
I love all of your articles and have bookmarked every one, but for me, your suggestions will need to wait until the weekend after Christmas. Yesterday I finished the dough for 18 dozen cookies which I will start baking in batches today. Last night I finished embroidering the stocking for my newest granddaughter’s first Christmas. I’m hosting a neighborhood tea tomorrow for those who won’t be around for the actual holiday and hosting brunch and dinner for 10 on Christmas day. This weekend my older grandchildren will come for a sleepover and cookie decorating marathon so their parents can have some alone time. Have theater tickets for two
events with visiting relatives in the days after Christmas. There is such a thing as positive stress. I am loving every minute of this. At 74 I don’t know how many more years I will be able to do this, so I treasure every moment. I hope everyone celebrates in the way they love most.
Maureen, that sounds like a beautiful way to celebrate Christmas. Enjoy every minute!
Enjoy every moment Maureen Sounds wonderful!
Thank you, Max, for all your posts–they always resonate with me. This holiday season I’m looking forward our family celebrations and also to some quiet, reflective time (to knit!).
I really look forward to your posts!
After a year of saying yes to requests to work for good causes I have decided 2025 will be a sabbatical. I retired 6 years ago and in spite of my good intentions rapidly became overcommitted with various activities. I’m going to jettison the activities that don’t quite fit and seek quiet time to enjoy my husband, my pups, my home, and my garden. And journal all of it.
Will I miss some things? Maybe. But I’m also hoping to reconnect with my best friend, the one who supported me thru a wild career and greets me every morning in the mirror.
Hi Max — this is so timely. The past two days I have napped after lunch and thought to myself that if I were to write a letter to my younger self it would be to say hang in there — there will come a time where I will get to rest and relax as much as I want. As a heart-broken single Mom working and trying to do it all there were moments of thinking life was just too tough for me. I’m so glad I didn’t succumb to ducking out on life. All that happened has made me who I am today and I’m pretty happy with that woman.
Thank you, Max! January is always a time of rest and renewal for me. December is busy and stressful, no matter how hard I try to keep Christmas prep manageable. I recently heard someone say that too much going on causes her pressure and stress, even if it’s good things, because her body can’t tell the difference between what she needs to do and what she wants to do. It all becomes overload. Me too! So I power through December and hibernate in January with knitting needles and books. But I think I do need a new rule for next year: no gift knitting in December!
I am in dire need of rest, but I am not sure when I’ll get mental rest. Sleep isn’t usually my problem, I sleep 7-8 hours most nights. But there have been and still are way too many problems at work the last couple months, which are really wearing me down. No sign of a lasting solution yet. I even had occasional days when I was so stressed I couldn’t even knit, and knitting is my go-to therapy.
It’s really challenging when half my staff calls out and I am running around trying to help 5 people at once on self checkout and my cashier needs help and someone is at customer service with a return. Holidays are not always happy in the grocery and retail business. I’m planning on taking a couple extra days off after New Year’s and do some major clutter purging interspersed with plenty of knitting time.
Hm. Maybe this works for others but less and less for moi. The older I get, and already into my 70’s yikes, the more I try, want…nay NEED …to do. There’ll be plenty of time for the dirt nap later.
Dirtnap! I love it.