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First, thank you all for your Words of the Year last month. So much good stuff there! A clip-n-save for the ages.

Today I want to investigate “the Basics,” a.k.a my other WOTY. What are the Basics, how do they support my word (“toughness”), and how can you use Basics to support your focus this year?

I have hinted before at just how much the Marine Corps shaped my early life. My dad was not one of those Great Santini kind of guys! He was just a Marine who kept the good parts, ran with it the exact right distance, and passed it on to me. So I have a real appreciation for structure, routine, discipline.

Of course, I also like to freestyle sometimes. Just not all the way off the cliff. The Basics are how I keep from tripping.

Below are my short-form Basics. (Just to state the obvious, “basic” doesn’t necessarily mean “minimalist.”) Feel free to steal them, riff on them, or be inspired to do the exact opposite.

Sleep: Its the most basic Basic. (Rest is a weapon!) Eight hours, then up and at ‘em, by which I mean have my coffee. If sleep eludes you, see Satchin Pandas book The Circadian Code.

Nutrition: Can’t pay attention to everything all at once, so protein first. Those protein targets you read about? Total hypobole. The older we get the more we need. At least a gram per pound of lean body weight every day for me. Thats a lot of protein, but the evidence is very strong. (See Resources below.)

The people: I am the opposite of tough without my people. Weak, weak, weak! Not for nothing but I think they feel the same. We all have to look out for and make time for each other.

Introspection: We also have to pay attention to our own life; its no one elses job. Meditation, journaling, morning pages, artist dates. If you need a reminder that your life is worth taking seriously, I will always bang that drum for you.

Tidy: Make the bed. Swab the decks. When my outer world is messy, my inner world is too.

Exercise: When lockdown happened, I went out and got (read: stayed in and ordered online) a giant stack of barbell plates and worked out in my pjs. It was delightful! Until it was the most dispiriting thing in the world.

Now my home gym is up for sale, I’m back at the gym-gym, and guess what? Turns out that exercising in a group makes you work harder. I’m fully in my crone years and I’ve started gaining more muscle. It’s never too late!

Muscle feels like toughness because it is. When you can deadlift your own body weight, you’ll never have to hit the button and say “Ive fallen and I cant get up.”

Money: This year I switched to Tiller for expense tracking. Every day it sends me a snapshot of the bottom line. I am 0% in the dark about my spending and my net worth anymore. Even when the news is bad, knowledge is better than hope. (I’m not getting paid to say this. I just love this product.)

All these routines, when paid consistent attention, make me tougher. (Or as my physical therapist would say, “harder to kill.” And he’s being statistical, not poetical.)

These actions, done consistently, are the bottom of the WOTY pyramid. Instead of some nice-sounding but vague inspiration, they’re the literal steps up to the tip of the pyramid. Where the toughness is.

So tell me about you. If your word is DARE, how are you daring on the regular? If your word is TRUTH, what does that look like in action? If your word is GLIMMERS, how will you cultivate them? If you want to put your plan below, we are eager to read it!

Resources: Protein Intake and Functional Integrity in Aging: The Framingham Heart Study Offspring

Image credit: Bedcover (“Nine Patch” Quilt), artist unknown, United States, c.1875–1900, Art Institute of Chicago. Used with permission. Cropped.

 

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About The Author

Max Daniels is a research-based life coach whose weekly emails make us laugh with recognition and rethink everything we thought we knew. Her new book is Meals at Mealtimes. What a concept!

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38 Comments

  • Appreciate this well written article with achievable actions! Thank you

  • My WOTY – Calm – attempting to achieve this through structure, routine, and gratitude. I’m newly diagnosed with Alpha Gal and have a couple other health issues so along with AGS dietary restrictions I’ve added low histamine food options – which have been very successful! A little meditation and yoga daily (free on YouTube and with my health plan), tackling housecleaning tasks, and monthly knitting and project work (February is an intricate shawl and going through old photos). Last but not least – constant gratitude for the loved ones in my life.

  • My WOTY is COURAGE. My plan is to NOT act on Fear. I will NOT wait around on Faith (meaning Trust). IRL my Courage includes, but is not limited to, Speaking Out, Showing Up, and an in-their-face personal display of triggering symbols by way of an impossible-to-miss blazon.

    • Dearest Carole:
      Yes and thank you.
      … there is a “rage” word list in a J. Diane comment in Max’s January WOTY.

      After allowing myself to catch-up to the tyrannical madness in the news this morning, I am Loving and Grateful for Max’s
      S.N.T.I.T.E.M. list rest, fortify, read/create and be in community with caring folk is the only way to make it thru this madness.
      I have to by honoring my strong body and rest when needed.

      I needed this today after a sleepless night.

      Peace and power . . .

      • I live in a region that is alarmingly …. Not At All Like Me, and the majority of people are very uninformed. I keep hoping my Virtue Signaling will attract like-minded people, because I am SO isolated from “my community.”

        • Snap, me too. I get you. At the same time, I love the area!

        • Oh man I hear this. I sometimes feel like getting a tattoo that reads “not from around here” just to … explain 🙂

        • Oh Carole, I SO hear you.
          My “Not At All Like Me” community has been my own family so I totally get how isolating that feels. Thankfully (insert HUGE sigh of relief here) my 94 y.o. Mom has finally woken up to what she had been supporting for her entire life (& honestly, most of her life she’d been supporting really really good, people/things. I did too! It took time for her to see what changes had taken place, but now, thankfully, she has). Sadly for her, her own larger family is still largely… “Not At all Like Me” and it hurts her to learn that aunts & cousins have unfriended me for countering mis & disinfo with (( GASP )) verifiable links (yes plural, always always plural) showing the fallacies. I have never insulted or denigrated THEM, but that is still how they view me.

          Long long way of saying, I SO so so get what you’re saying & how you feel. If you need a community, I am very willing to be a part of that so you do not feel so all alone. Are you a Member of the MDK Society? Our emails are accessible to each other there. I’m still leery enough of digital communities that I do not happily share direct contacts on the more public forums…

          Stay strong & DO NOT feel as though you’re all alone!
          HUGS!!

        • That is so so hard.

  • Thanks Max for all your good advice. Next time I feel like I just can’t go run around the block, in the cold, one more time, I’ll remember: it’ll make you harder to kill!

  • I appreciate the good reminders! And the link to the pubmed article–great information (and a nice guideline for protein intake/day). Thanks!

  • These are great! I have been following a high protein low-carbohydrate diet for almost a year, and finally shedding weight that has plagued me since menopause. An additional benefit is that low-carbohydrates lead to reduced inflammation which makes your fingers better able to knit!!!

  • My WOTY – Pause – is related to eating, sleeping, and home vibes goals for this year. And my bottom-of-the-pyramid actions include meditation classes, in person and online, and monthly scheduling (as opposed to freestyling) knitting/sewing projects in my bujo. The latter has been surprisingly powerful in curbing overspending, not to mention clearing mental space.

  • (( huff ))
    Deeeeep cleansing breath
    (( huff ))
    OK… My WOTY was/is & sadly will be “RAGE” because of things beyond my individual control.
    BUT, I can act individually as a part of a group(s) and groups CAN regain at least SOME control. My small actions (most of them) can lead to big results if I stay steady.

    In order to stay steady I NEED to rest, nourish, engage/exercise, and recharge my own batteries. Art and Making are key parts of my recharging. I write. I create. I used to knit & NEED to knit again. I’m working on that one!
    Because I know I cannot do ALL, I focus on what I CAN and what I MAY.
    I CAN show kindness to others, letting them know that they are seen and cared for.
    Hatred cannot defeat hatred. Only love & kindness can defeat hatred. Right now I am helping neighbours dig out from the 3rd big snow in 1 week. We all need a helping hand & I’m so glad I live in a neighbourhood where most of us get that! Helping them extends our neighbourhood, exercises my muscles and spreads the love!
    At work, I’ve been adding to the availability of back up meals, whether by stocking a pantry in the break room (both for coworkers for whom ends jusssst cannot quite meet at the end of a pay period AND for coworkers who find themselves working a longer shift than scheduled & had not planned on needing a meal). Additionally, I have been the US Expat helping/leading to extend the “True Patriot Love” in the “Buy Canadian” rage (there’s my WOTY again) against the behomoth southern machine that is threatening our economy & our nationhood. I’ve called attention to all of the “Canadian sourced” products in my department, showing the rest of the staff how easy that is to find. Corporate asked us to take down our little Maple Leaf markers, but they have a corporate scaled plan & want all to keep to one consistent “corporate voice” on this. Not ideal, but, ok… Corporate had no problems with our digging out our back stock of Canada flags (usually sold for Canada Day every July 1) so that they could be available for sale for Flag Day, Feb 15! I may be a US citizen living in Canada, but that doesn’t mean I support what the US is currently doing to Canada, to Canadians and to the rest of the world.

    My small actions locally can do a LOT to impact things globally by spreading love, kindness & good will and they allow me to keep on keeping on while I also remember to…
    BREATHE
    SLEEP
    EAT
    TAKE LONG WALKS with my dog (when the sidewalks aren’t buried in 3′ of snow, that is)
    SEE & HEAR nature & joy continuing to happen around me
    CREATE something tangible out of the beauty I can still see around me.

    • J DIANE
      Thank you for extending so much kindness to your co-workers, neighbors and friends!
      Also, many, many of us Americans are feeling the same rage about our government that you feel. We are with you, Canada!

  • Just what I needed today to get me centered and recommitted.
    Thank you this hit at just the right moment and it is perfect.

  • Max, I love your columns. It’s like my favorite aunt has called me just to check-in. But when exactly is our “crone” years?? I will be 60 in a few days, yet I feel I am somewhere in the middle of my life.

    • Kimi, my reckoning is just dumb math. If I live to 90 (could happen!), I am no longer in the middle third of life. And the word “crone” just makes me smile…

  • As always, wonderful and timely advice. You always have the right voice at the right time. Thank you.

  • Stability has been the one thing missing from my life since a divorce sent me reeling many years ago. After having been a homeowner for years I was forced to rent. I now get to purchase my own home and I couldn’t be more grateful and I will cherish every little thing

  • Oh, my goodness. And start cutting out that quilt. Surely I have those fabrics . . .

    • I have the quilt that my grandmother and her mother made and she gave it to me as a wedding present in 1981. Since I was married to someone who could care less about a quilt it has remained well preserved and will finally have a home

  • My WOTY is IDEA, though it stands for inclusion, diversity, equity and accessibility in my work with undergraduates, graduate students and postdocs who are committed to those four words and fighting president Agent Orange and his minions.
    Kimi, I am definitely in my crone years, and you are in the middle of your life, I got my masters degree in social change and human development at 60 and will be 77 in a couple of months.
    Thank all of you for what you have shared. Max, thank you, I must work on more exercise and tiding up. I know it will help me with my rage. I am signed up for MDK Society, but have yet to join in. I’m on the west coast so miss some of the what’s happening since I’m at work then. Sorry, for the idea acronym, but when you work in institutes of higher learning almost everything becomes an acronym.
    I’m currently writing a short piece on when Acronyms Collide.

    • What’s. WOTY?

      • Word Of The Year!

      • Word Of The Year!

  • I have trouble with time management and/or motivation when it comes to “tidying up.” Like you, I feel better when the housecleaning is in order, but there are so many other things I’d rather spend my time on. Do you have a system or schedule? Help…

    • Cindy, here’s my whole secret and I got it from my genius sister Lynn: set a timer for 15 minutes. Tidy and/or clean. If you want to keep going you can but 15 minutes makes a big difference. If you do it again tomorrow 😉

      • Thanks for the tip. I’ll definitely give it a try. My grandson also suggested picking just one chore to do. If you do that every day, you’ll eventually be on top of things. Or inspired enough to keep the momentum going. Between those two tips, I should began to make some headway. Thanks for your columns! Always great…..

  • In her book Between Two Kingdoms Suleika Jaouad tells about the Hundred Days Project that she and her family undertook to center themselves while she underwent very difficult chemotherapy. They all worked at individual projects everyday for the time period, with a commitment to complete their projects. (This book is beautifully written.)

    • OOOOOOH this sounds so good! Thank you for the rec Mary Lou!

  • Another well-written motivating but not shaming article. I like the simple steps. I have been trying to get more protein lately and I think I notice a difference. Off to visit the link.

  • Wonderfully put. I had listed my three guidelines for 2025 as Self Care, Insulation as needed, Financial Stability. You are speaking to me. Thank you.

  • Thanks for the great and timely reminders about health! My WOTY is Finish, and it has been helping me a great deal. I have a tendency to start things and then drift away. Finish for me can mean following through and completing, or making the decision to unravel the project I won’t finish, give away the book I’m not interesting in continuing, or whatever. It feels good!

  • The protein recommendations are all paid for by the dairy and livestock industry. You are killing your kidneys and liver with excess protein.

  • I didn’t have a word of the year, but I sure do now. It’s RESISTANCE!
    In explanation, I’m Canadian, and I’m fed up to the gills with constant threats to our sovereignty. Please know that NO CANADIAN is interested in being American. That’s all I’ll say.
    Self care is going to be so needed just to get by these days. My best wishes to everyone as we navigate these difficult, fractious times.

  • I love this article and will be watching for more. Recently retired and searching for information and, community. Many thanks!!

  • I celebrated my 72nd Birthday on Wednesday by taking the day off and knitting. Nothing but knitting and a shower and spending time with my 14 pound rescue dog who loves nothing more than staying in bed.

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