First Person
Alternative Crafting Weekend
Dear Ann,
This past weekend, instead of knitting, I worked on a couple of alternative craft projects. One was constructing this banner from a Paper Source kit:
Lesson: Washi tape will hold UP a banner, but not for as long as you need it to.
I also made 70 name tags from a family tree on a spreadsheet, and placed a catering order with Zabar’s. (This involved at least as much math as grading a sweater pattern. How many people does a platter serving 15 serve? What if there is also fruit salad, vegetarian mezze, and three kinds of cake?)
I did this because I was expecting around 70 people for family reunion brunch on Sunday.
Here’s my name tag, as a proud member of the in-law contingent. I never knew my father-in-law, Paul Bergmann, but I knew one of his two sisters, Ruth, and I am still privileged to know one of his first cousins, Ann Dorzback, who is 96, or as her children put it, “going on 97.”
This is Ann:
Ann left Germany in 1939, when she was 17, after Kristallnacht. She was one of the youngest members of a large Jewish family in Laupheim, Germany. The German Bergmann family started with two brothers, Josef and Anton, who migrated to Laupheim around 1870, from Chotebor, a Czech town not too far from Prague. Josef and Anton set up shop as wigmakers and hair dyers. Eventually they lived in a two-story house, each brother’s family occupying a floor. There were 11 children altogether, of which one was Ann’s mother, Elsa. Elsa told Ann that as a child she made little distinction between cousins and siblings, all living together in that big brick house next to the wig factory and across the street from the Jewish school.
This is the side of the house, with the school in the background. Ann’s mother, Elsa, is at the far left.
We were getting together, really, because Ann is the last of her generation of first cousins, who all remained quite close even after they emigrated, by various ways and means, to the United States in the 1930s, as things went from bad to worse for Jews living in Germany. The children and grandchildren of those cousins wanted to celebrate Ann and hear from her.
In a family that keeps its story, in a very detailed way–the word “obsessive” comes up– we all thought we knew the story.
Although we knew that the Bergmanns came to Germany from Czechoslovakia, the Czech part of the story is misty. Anton and Joseph had siblings that stayed in Czechoslovakia. They too were in the wig and hair dyeing business. The German and Czech families did business together, and met up for family gatherings. But when the bad times came, the link was broken. The German cousins, who had been so close in Germany, reconstituted their connection in the United States, but lost track of the Czechs.
After this brunch was on the calendar, through a series of the kind of coincidences that happen to relentless researchers like Ann, Ann found out that Olga Bergmann Grilli, a younger cousin from the Czech line, whom she’d last seen in the 1940s, was still alive. Not only was Olga still going strong, but she wanted to attend the brunch with her children. Ann lives to make this kind of connection! She added a few slides to her power point, I made a few more name tags, and we were good to go.
Sunday afternoon, while Ann was doing her sound check in my living room and early Bergmanns were starting to wander in, a pretty lady, bearing a giant floral arrangement and surrounded by tall children, appeared at my door.
This is Olga:
Olga and Ann sat together, smiling and holding hands and catching up. I bustled around with the lox and the bagels.
When everyone was full of lox and chocolate babka, Ann gave her presentation, full of wit and lively detail as always, but New & Improved: Now With More Czechs! We learned that Olga was the granddaughter of Josef and Anton’s younger brother Wilhelm, who had stayed in Czechoslovakia.
We also learned that in 1939, when Olga was 11, her mother put her on the last of the now-famous kindertransport trains organized by Sir Nicholas Winton, which took her from Prague to safety in England. Olga’s mother and family later died in the Holocaust.
You could have heard a pin drop. Until now, the family narrative that I have absorbed over the years has been of escape, of loss that was outpaced by luck. What a terrible, terrible thing, to have to think of as fortunate.
(For a short history of how Winton, a 29-year old stockbroker, happened to rescue 669 children instead of going on a ski vacation, this 2014 piece from 60 Minutes is excellent.)
Olga then spoke, telling her story very briefly. When she got to England, she lived there for some years. (I want to know more about this time.) The kindertransport had gotten her out of Czechoslovakia, but if she was ever going to be reunited with family members in the United States, she needed a ticket to get there, and she had no money. She told us that a cousin in London was kind to her, made her lots of nice dinners, and when it was time for her to go to America, the cousin paid her passage, and took her to a tailor to get new clothes made for the journey.
Someone called out, “What was the cousin’s name?” Olga replied, “Lore.” My brother-in-law asked, “Was it Eleonore?” Yes, it was Eleonore, nicknamed Lore, who had left Germany for her education, and at that time was a young woman, practicing medicine in London and putting up relatives who were in transit.
Eleonore was my father-in-law Paul’s older sister. Ruth’s sister. Ruth had gotten her teenage cousin Ann (now Dorzback) to New York, also after Kristallnacht, by sponsoring her, which involved considerable moxy for a newly-arrived 21-year old. The story of Ruth asking her (new) boss for the (considerable) amount of money she needed to show on her bank statement in order to qualify to sponsor her cousin, is an oft-repeated one in our family. (He gave it. Don’t worry, Ann Dorzback tracked down his children, too, who hadn’t known this story about their father.) Every time I think of it, I feel proud to have known Ruth. Now we learned that Ruth’s sister Eleonore had provided similar help to this little cousin, Olga.
Eyes were dabbed. Emails of Czech cousins were added to the Spreadsheet of Love. The story continues. How can you not try to live up to such examples?
I didn’t get much knitting done, but I feel like my weekend craft project turned out pretty well.
Love,
Kay
Photos by Sam Hollenshead
Note: Olga Grilli passed away on July 4, 2018. Here is her obituary in the Poughkeepsie Journal. May her memory be for a blessing. We feel so lucky to have met her in April.
Wow! What a story! The bond of love and family and the ties that bind all these years later. So happy for these ladies that they were able to unite after so many years.
Loved the story! The ladies are beautiful! Thank you.
What a fantastic story. So happy for you all that you continue to be there for and with each other xx
Thank you for sharing this amazing family story! Very moving.
(Madeleine Albright was also one of the children savef by the Kindertransport.)
Eyes were dabbed here this morning. What a lovely story. Thank you for sharing it.
My word what an amazing and moving story, thank you for writing and sharing
What a wonderful story. Thank you so much for sharing! There are tears in my eyes, from just reading this. What a wonderful day !
Every time I feel like the world is an awful place I hear a story about the food in some of us. May we each reach down and be the best version of ourselves today and each day. There lies the hope for the world.
This evokes so much of my family. Mine is not Jewish but fled Russia in the early 1900s to Canada to escape war and conscription. My fathers family still meets every summer to catch up and see how each are getting on. And their generation is getting old…
These amazing immigrant stories are very North American; I miss it x
I think we all need to be reminded that good people exist and that single acts can make such a huge difference.
Thank you, Ann, for sharing this wonderful, hopeful story.
Amen.
My eyes are leaking. What a strong family.
What a beautiful gathering. God bless all.
My father left Vienna on a Kindertransport and is still going strong at 88. Much honor to Sir Winton and all the surviving Kinder.
I did not know this, Rev. Emily! What a world. Glad your father is going strong.
I always start my morning at MDK with my coffee. This morning is extra great from this story.
Beautiful story. Beautiful photos. Thanks so much for sharing.
It is so important to share these stories. Thank you!
woah teary here…
I’m so glad that you and your family-in-laws are taking such care to keep these family stories and connections alive. So many are lost as the older generations die out and the younger ones fail to ask the questions or record the stories. Thank you for sharing.
These truths are so very important to hear. Thank your family for keeping track of their history and thank you for sharing. Much love to all.
❤️ That is all.
Thank you for sharing this amazing and moving story, and for keeping the family connections so strong.
This is just absolutely beautiful and amazing and I was tearing up on the train this AM.
A tale of good people, all the way around. Love always makes the difference.
Oh, bless all of you. Thank you so much for sharing this!
Thank I so much for sharing this story!!!
I have tears in my eyes. My dad got his parents out right after the Anschlus in Austria. Other folks escaped to England, Palestine, Australia, Costa Rico. Your family story is our tribal family story.
Thank you for sharing this, and for helping to keep the story (the history) of your family alive.
Such a beautiful story. Thank you for sharing and bringing such joy to my morning.
What a wonderful story! Thank you.
Thank you for sharing this story. It made me smile and brought tears to my eyes.
and what is this lump in my throat?
I started this hoping chocolate babka would show up, then read on in wonder, teary-eyed, of course. Thank you.
Thank you.
What an amazing family story! Thanks for sharing.
What a great story! The ladies are radiant!! Thank you.
I love this and love how the girls are wearing pearls and coordinating colors. Family is everything!!
My husband sitting across from me eating his cereal is wondering why I’m sniffing and blowing my nose over here. Thank you for sharing this heart warming story with us.
Thanks, Kay.
What a rich history. So glad you had a chance to gather more of it before time runs out. I feel like I may need to re-read this post a few times to absorb it all. Thank you for sharing your family story.
What an amazing story, Kay, thank you so much for sharing it. And did they notice how they are wearing the exact same colors? It is as if it was planned.
I don’t think anyone noticed but the art direction was quite good!
Oh, such a wonderful story. Thank you for sharing it this morning. It’s a little teary over here as well. But teary with a full heart to know that there are such people in our world.
What a wonderful family gathering and sharing of family history. I love this. God bless all of you!
Wonderful story …… Also I watched 60 minutes from the link you send ! My father too was a child ( German Jew) at that time and luckily survived this terrible part of human history.
Oh boy. What a story.
What a marvelous event. May you have many more attended by these amazing ladies. Thanks so much for sharing BER
What a wonderful story! I’m so glad I’m not wearing mascara.
What a beautiful and touching story. So much history! Thanks for sharing it with us.
How great to have a family that tells thise stories. And a daughter-in-law to organize the gathering! Are miat of the family in the New York area. Mine were far flung. Canada (thanks to Joe MacCarthy), California, Israel, etc. thanks for sharing such a great and sad & amazing story.
I love it when you move everyone to tears and thoughts, and then they all write comments. And I’m grateful. Thanks.
Thank you for sharing your family story with us. What an amazing connection you all have with each other.
You and your family are so very lucky to have this story … I hope someone videotapes the ladies! Even at this late date, stories are there to be discovered and told.
Your (late) husband’s family was very very lucky to have gotten out of Germany and that legacy was present in your apartment eating babka last Sunday, Yasher Koach.
We had lots of technology rolling!
Wow. Speechless.
Thank you so much for sharing the story of your extraordinary family. What a treasure.
Thank you for sharing your spreadsheet of love. Bless
As I wipe my eyes I am reminded that we now have DNA kits to help us find even more far-flung relatives.
Oh wow! That is fantastic — riveting!!
So beautiful. I just love the power of stories to teach and heal.
I usually expect knitting – not crying.
What a wonderful story. What a great reunion!
Two beautiful older women. I cannot imagine how they must of felt.
You did good.
I’m so grateful to you, Kay, for sharing this. Still blowing my nose and mopping my eyes. ❤️
Thank you for this! Simply amazing story!!
Beautiful story, beautiful family! I love reunions, this one being all the more special for the story behind it. <3
A fabulous and heartwrenching/warming story, and wonderful photographs as well. Those portraits are superb. Incredible how the fragile connections of humans can survive time and space.
And no, I’m fine, thanks, this is allergies.
I think my heart grew a few sizes. Thank you for sharing your family’s story!
Thank you for sharing this. I’m so moved that I’m nearly speechless. Keep these stories of survival going!
Glad I have kleenex. Can’t imagine some of the things that our older generations have been through and the power of family. Thank you for sharing this.
Amazing.
Wow, what an amazing story. Thank you for sharing!
Knitting together generations and histories with love. A perfect family-craft kind of weekend! XO
Thank you for sharing this story!
Pure love! From tragedy and trauma, happiness found its way. Stories are our lifeline into who we really are.
I am currently digging deep into my own family history so this really resonated. Olga and Ann are two beautiful ladies. *Sniffling into a Kleenex*
Thank you so much for ALL the ways you help our larger community connect the dots and spit splice the threads of compassion. This is is an inspiring story.
What wonderful party goodness, the stories!
What an amazing story! I was on the edge of my seat reading. I’m so glad the connection was made and her story was told to the younger generations. Thank you for sharing.
What a sad and wonderful story. Thank you for sharing. Apparently, it is ongoing. That is one of the wonderful parts.
I love this story down to my core. These family histories are so important and are the threads that keep us connected over generations. Thank you for sharing you most worthy weekend alternative crafting project. You knitted this group together beautifully!
Incredible story! Wonderful family.
Oh, Kay! What a wonderful story. Thank you SO much for sharing it … eyes were dabbed … ♥♥♥
What a beautiful story, I am so glad they found each other. I don’t think, as we race around in our lives today that we give thanks enough for our loved ones. There is not the closeness that binds a family together as in days gone by. Thank you so much for this beautiful piece of history.
Truly amazing stories-thanks for sharing, adding to history and keeping these stories alive.
A wonderful, if somewhat moist, start to the day! Thank you.
Thank-you. Such a great story!
I love this so much! The history, as told by the amazing people themselves. So special. I am glad you all were able to connect!
Extraordinary. in so many ways.
Tears in my eyes after reading your story. Thank you!
Just read a book about a brother and sister who left Austria on a kindertransport. They were taken in by separate families in England. The name of the book: The Fortunate Ones. How fortunate you all are to have such a strong family tree. Wunderbar! (Unfortunately, I cannot recommend the book, but it has a great bibliography re kindertransport history.)
Wow—I sat down to read this and eat my lunch, when who should I see, but Ann Dorzback!! I knew Ann from 15 years of living in Louisville, KY and attending the same UU church for a number of those years. She was a wonderful guide and expert in the “mindful knitting” weekly class that I thought one year as part of the Wednesday night vespers offerings. There were knitters of all ages and abilities, and I really appreciated getting to know her better. (She had a funny story about using her knitting needles on the subway to create more personal space!)
Thank you for sharing this story, and helping me catch up with Ann!
What a beautiful story. You should be so proud of this sad but heartfelt history. What strong loyal women!
Wow! Eyes were dabbed here, too. Thank you for hosting this wonderful event and for sharing the story with us!
WOW!!!! I had goose bumps!!! Families mean so much. I help keep my husband’s family connected.
Wow! What an amazing family heritage! And how fun to add in more family!
thank you so much for this- what a privilege to meet these two remarkable women through your words. The depth of the trauma they went through is incomprehensible to those of us leading a safe life in today’s world – I hope their story and those of countless others like them is never forgotten. My very best wishes to you and all your family
Sue
Thank you for sharing this with us.
What a wonderful reunion — I hope Olga and Ann have many more opportunities to catch up after this amazing day.
I think I couldn’t love you more, then BAM. I love you more.
What a wonderful story! Thank you so much for sharing it with us.
Thank you for sharing such a poignant story. Never forget, never again.
Tears! What a medley of beautiful stories, thank you for sharing them.
Thank you for sharing this story that must be so special for you. We also have a large family with history going back to the Jews of Aleppo and Iraq. Celebrating together is emotional and joyful. Time goes by so quickly
Awesome story. Sounds similar to our family in so many ways. How lovely to see these ladies together. Thank you for sharing.
What a beautiful, inspiring story! Thank you for sharing it. You’ve been a blessing for the family; sad for the ones who are missing.
My grandmother turns 97 this coming week. The German-American town that her ancestors helped found in the early 1800s is having a birthday party for her at the local historical society (also the original family homestead) and a fifth cousin (who is just in his 80s) and his family are flying in from the Midwest to join in the celebration. An impromptu reunion! Lovely to see your own family’s celebration of another nonagenarian.
Kay, late to the party, I’m just getting to read this now. My thoughts and reactions echoing all of those in the comments that have gone before me, particularly of how you did a special kind of knitting this weekend. Such a wonderful story in the MDK tradition of wonderful stories! Thank you so much. ❤
Amazing story!
I have goosebumps reading that story. How amazing on so many levels.
Best story ever!!!!! Ann and Olga look like they have been BFFs forever.
What a beautiful story. Your craft project of weaving lives back together turned out great!
This is just an incredible, moving story…….a lump in my throat, for such love and beauty.
Marvelous that you had this reunion and keep your family ties. Also marvelous that you posted this. I have friends who were part of the kindertransport, and friends who were not, but still survived. It os just so bizarre and ridiculous that to this day there are Holocaust deniers. Even with all the pictures and documentation. I don’t understand. Except that hate does terrible things.
It’s great you are part of such a close-knit family. (Oy).
How fortunate you were to be apart of the next chapter of this story. How lucky we are that you shared. Thank you.
Lovely story, but you have to put a warning on lovely stories like these. I was all teary eyed in my office over this one. People coming in probably thought I was crying over how much I hate my job! 🙂
Lovely story. Who’s crying? I’m not crying!
Kay, What an inspiring story! Your family members are so strong and resilient. And I’m so sorry any of them had to experience such hatred and evil.
Beautiful, what strength and so glad the history is being preserved
What a story! I hope you got a picture of the 70 of you!
What a wonderful afternoon
Incredibly beautiful story! And those cousins! Lovely ladies! Truly a treasured time for your family.
Through my tears, thank you for sharing. Never forget. Always. And be grateful that there is some good to remember to leaven the horror.
❤️
Wow. Wonderful and heartwarming story. Thank you so much for sharing!
Kay what an amazing story!!!..beautifully written! and so Moving! Kol hakavod! (“Respect!”)
What an amazing story. Thank you for sharing.
Just wanted to tell you how much I enjoyed reading your blog. It was a lovely afternoon. Thank you again for hosting.
Barbara Bergmann Jacobs
Incredible story! I can’t wait to hear Ann speak at my library, Middletown Library, on Tuesday, May 14 at 6:30pm. I’ll have tissues available. What snacks should we serve?