Atlas Insider
Atlas Insider: That Curse
Shhhh. Can you keep a secret? Because I absolutely cannot.
I know what you are thinking…I would have a pretty good guess what the secret is if I knew who you were. Let’s start there.
Hi, I am Ashe Cain. If you have attended any of our virtual events, I am the wizard behind the curtain (also known as the Virtual Events Coordinator). During weekends I spend my time at brunch with friends or picking up roadkill (but that is an Atlas Insider for another day.)
Back to the story at hand.
I am currently knitting a sweater for a new beau. It needs to be finished by Christmas.
I know what you are thinking:
“But Ashe, you have never knit a sweater before.”
“But Ashe, how are you going to be able to finish this in time?”
“But Ashe, what about THE CURSE!”
First of all, I have never knit a sweater before but I have been knitting for roughly 20 years (yikes!). Off and on, of course, and yes, I wish I had made more complicated things sooner but I do have three closets full of infinity scarves to show for those two decades.
Later in therapy, I will unpack whether it is fear or stubbornness that gets in the way of my art. Today I am excited that a cute boy finally got me out of my knitting comfort zone.
But also a quirky pattern (the Neigh sweater by Caitlin Hunter) and scrumptious yarn (our new favorite Jane) was absolutely at play in my decision.
I instantly knew I had to make a Neigh when I modeled the sample for our Jane lookbook, which was created by Chris (our resident photographer) and Hannah (all things graphic).
To keep the sweater a secret, I have been knitting away at MDK headquarters during our morning meeting and at lunch. I am able to get two rows of colorwork done a day but with ten days until Christmas (as I’m writing this!) and 15 rows to go, I may be turning this sweater into a vest.
I can’t knit on this outside of MDK. I would hate for him to stumble upon his gift in the passenger seat of my messy blue Prius, which still has a few glass shards in the floorboard from when I was rear ended and Petunia, my possum head in a jar, shattered into a million pieces when she was flung into the dashboard (again an Atlas Insider for another day.)
I am already up to row 66 (out of 81) of the stranded colorwork. I am incredibly excited because this is my first time doing any sort of colorwork. I do not think I would have had the confidence to try if not for all the skills I have learned this past year at all of our virtual classes. Fingers crossed I know enough to get it done.
There is one thing I am the tiniest bit nervous about: THE CURSE.
If you haven’t heard, there is a superstition that if you knit a sweater for a significant other, your relationship is doomed (and they will probably even dump you before you cast off).
I am incredibly superstitious. I have done my research and have discovered the one way to mitigate THE CURSE is to make a little mistake in your sweater.
So, if you notice that my ribbing is slightly askew, the float tension is dramatically inconsistent, and a horse is maybe missing a leg, that could be because of THE CURSE and not because this is my first sweater. But that is one secret I think I will keep.
P.S. Please let me know if you have been a victim of THE CURSE in the comments. I am genuinely scared.
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Your writing is a page turner like a good novel. Hope we read much more from you.
So I knitted a mistake ribbed scarf for my oldest daughter’s boyfriend. He’s from North Carolina and we live in Massachusetts My daughter said no hats; he doesn’t like them. I used my handspun merino yarn even. He loves it. No ring yet but they have been together for 2-1/2 years. She says he’s staying put with her. I’m not sure if I made a mistake but there’s a mistake in the pattern name! Please keep us posted! Happy Holidays!
I want to see a picture of said cute boy in the Neigh when the gift is given. Knit on!
This was terrific! Please come back & tell us how the sweater was received. I know people who have said they have experienced The Curse, but I know many more that ended up in great, long-lasting relationships even after knitting their partner a sweater. So don’t be anxious!!
Forty three years ago I knitted a sweater for my boyfriend. Actually, I made two sweaters, the first was big enough for King Kong so I ripped it out and reknit the whole thing. (I hadn’t heard of swatching). We are celebrating wedding anniversary #41 in April. I hadn’t heard of the curse either. Knit away!
How brave and fun of you to knit such a beautiful sweater for your beau, Ashe! My experience with the curse: I knit a sweater way before I had any reasonable reason to think I could for a beau. I created the pattern from some Greek tile patterns I saw an liked in a magazine. I knew he said he didn’t like wool, so I picked up some cotton at my local K Mart — yes it was Lily Sugar ‘n Cream — a crazy thing to make a sweater from. 35 + years later he still wears it with pride. So good on you!
I knit a sweater (in secret) as a wedding gift for my fiancé. We just celebrated our 42nd anniversary. No curse here!
(It doesn’t fit him anymore, but it fits me now!)
Over 20 years ago I knitted a very complicated traveling cable pullover sweater for my then-boyfriend. We have been together for 28 years , and I still have the sweater. So I don’t believe in the curse. I hope your boyfriend and sweater last many years (especially if he’s your soulmate).
Ashe – continue on! Maybe get up earlier than usual to get to the office and get some knitting in – that would get you 3 times a day. Put your energy in to accomplishing this amazing work of knitting and don’t worry about what “they” say – reading this suggests to me that you don’t usually worry about “them” 😉 Besides there are lots of Janes along with us cheering you on; in hopes of a part 2 to the story.
Ashe, I look forward to reading more of your articles. Your writing is so fun to read. I guess I lucked out in a way because I never had to tempt the curse. Like you, I knitted for many years before I ever knit a sweater (closets of scarves and hats, maybe a few infinity cowls). By the time I knitted my first sweater, my boyfriend had become my husband.
Many many years ago, my rule of thumb was to only date guys who were roughly the same size as my brother, That way if the relationship floundered before a gift sweater was done, it became a gift for my brother. My brother has many lovely handknit sweaters. 😉
I Love! this
For Christmas 45 years ago I knit a circular sweater with colorwork yoke for my boyfriend. He’s been my husband for 43 years and I’m still knitting for him.
I had heard of The Curse. After carefully knitting my (tall, broad) significant other an all over broken rib sweater which turned out far too large and far too red for his liking and ended up in the op shop I am happy to report we are going strong after 7 years and multiple knitted beanies and socks. Can’t wait for the update.
After knitting my first sweater for myself, lopi, twice (because it was huge), I knit a fair isle vest for my new guy, twice also. Fifty some years later he is still the love of my life. Forget the curse, I think there’s something to be said about investing time, commitment, and love into the item and therefore the relationship!
I want to hear more about the possum head in a jar…….
Me too! and the fur sleeve in your photo, possum fur??
You are incredible, Ashe! My Fingers and toes are crossed that your theory is working. I laughed Out loud in your article. Would love to see the finished sweater. I would wear it. Absolutely! It’s unique and wonderful.
Merry Xmas to you all from Hamburg. Xxx Carina
Oh, don’t turn it into a vest. Wrap it up with the needles still in it. Then take it back to finish it. A tested tradition of knitters!
After knitting a sweater for my son’s first love — they were in high school and it didn’t last — I learned a lesson.
I have knit gifts for subsequent girlfriends (hmmm, three by my count) but stick to accessories such as scarves and socks. Still special gifts but not a cursed sweater.
This season there is a new girlfriend — too new for a gift from me, but we will see where it goes.
That being said I’m sure your sweater won’t be cursed!
I love the colors in your Neigh sweater version!
The first sweater I knitted was an Icelandic sweater. The second sweater I knitted was for my then man friend. He picked out the yarn. He still wears it 34 yrs later, calls it his ‘super sweater’. There are a lot of counter curses in the comments, curse-smursh! Please post a photo when it’s finished. Looking forward to hearing more about your adventures and misadventures!
That can’t be a curse sweater, the colors are the same ones for the sweater I knit for my grandson for his first birthday sweater. Never mind that it barely fit him and he looked like a stuffed sausage in it, it fit his little sister perfectly two years later! It’s the love that counts ❤️
As long as he is knitworthy, ignore the curse
He found me on LinkedIn. He wrote to tell me that he hadn’t been very nice to me 40 years ago and was sorry. Setting aside that it was far from clear why he would contact me after all this time, he turned out to be worse than I remembered (fortunately, through his subsequent emails, so that was a quick snip-snip). I do sometimes wonder, though. what happened to that Lopi sweater, made when I hadn’t a clue what I was doing (in either knitting – or men), but it did turn out perfectly. I’ve never made another sweater for a man – well, there was that extraordinary scarf – but that’s another story.
Curse is cancelled by your diligent efforts at removal by ‘feature addition’ (never call them glitches).
First sweater I ever made for a significant other was a cardigan with a custom design feature of lightning bolts (similar to his favorite railroad’s design) and secondhand railroad company buttons! He still has the sweater and loves it 31 years later.
He is the proud recipient of many pairs of socks, hats, and scarves; but after a bad cotton pullover experience that almost destroyed ME, he stays away from further sweater offerings. I can deal with that, as he has several Icelandic pullovers (bought on trips to Iceland before we met) in his closet that are very well-loved.
What I love most is that not only are you knitting a sweater, but you have jumped in in entirety! That is one marvelous and intricate sweater and, indeed the perfect yarn.
Who will be counting the legs?
PS I am ready to hear more about Petunia, et al. x
I mean, the sweater is lovely and I don’t believe in the curse but I really need to hear more about a possum head in a jar.
We bought a sailboat for him to live aboard while we had to be separated by work. I bought yarn to make him a cozy cabled sweater to keep him warm on misty mornings and was about to the sleeves when he called to say it was over. I finished the sweater anyway and mailed it to him with a snarky note saying, “I keep my promises.” He lost his job the day after he received it. The curse is real, but it works both ways!
The first sweater I knit was a plain navy blue pullover for my then college boyfriend. At the time I hadn’t heard of the curse, but that was back in the sixties so maybe the curse hadn’t yet become a thing. Anyway, he must have liked the sweater because a year later we found ourselves married. Five years’ later, dear reader, I left him—but I don’t think that should count as the curse. Maybe it was the curse in reverse?
I once knit a sweater for an extremely commitment phobic man who, upon trying on the sweater, asked me if I could knit it over to make it fit better. Yes, I could! For someone more knit-worthy! Best of luck!
I knit a sweater for my husband while we were dating. We’ve been married nearly 32 years. He still had the sweater last year. I tossed it without him knowing bc it was hideous.
OHHH NO!
Even if it was hideous as a sweater, it could have been cut & sewed into a pillow or a teddy bear or or or…
To all current & future haters of their own early knits!!
Save them and reimagine them into something else as they are as precious as diaries to record who you are and from where you have grown!!
I still have the 1st sweater my Mom ever knit, for my Dad who was at the time NOT her husband. They would have celebrated their 65th wedding anniversary in Sept 2016 but he passed the day before his birthday in June.
So, coming from that safe “NO CURSE” blood line & sturdy stock, I knit a sweater for my own beloved yet-to-be-my-spouse. It was my 2nd sweater (I had knit a basic one for myself when I was 12). That was for Xmas ~4 years before we eloped.
We just celebrated our 25th elopement anniversary in August.
There is NO CURSE.
There will always be human relationships with imperfections & frailties, some which may prove to be insurmountable, but…
There is NO CURSE
There is NO CURSE
There is NO CURSE
Please, forge ahead with that beautiful sweater! If he is truly worthy, he will recognize the love & effort & will be devoted for that gift of yourself.
Sing to yourself “Wild Horses” (so apropos given the sweater) and enjoy all the feels!
Thank you for this delightful start to my day. Did you really say possum head?
…named Petunia
…In a jar
…In the car
SOOO need to hear this story!
I am assuming it & the “collecting road kill” are linked stories!
I will add my OWN “collecting road kill” stories in the comments when you (Ashe) get around to posting your own!
I still have a t-shirt from the “roadkill cafe” which features Fluff and Flutter Flambe, in the diet section of the menu, Beaks and Claws…..I wore mine out, but hubby just unearthed his identical one, nearly unworn, and it is now mine.
YOU GO, GIRL!!! Though, given the curse, I wonder if you should rename it “Horse,” or “Equine,” or something that doesn’t sound like a Victorian negative… It is BEAUTIFUL, either way.
I did knit a sweater for my then-boyfriend/now-husband. He hates heavy/hot sweaters, but I didn’t know that at the time. He wore it once, but he’s stuck around. 35 years, this past June. The sweater is still in a cedar chest, gorgeous, unused (we are not the same size), and a fun reminder that while not perfect, everything is still great.
Good luck finishing, getting a great reception for the beautiful sweater, and with all wonderful romance vibes. We will all, however, require an update.
I am reminded of my sister Sharon who, after learning to knit, immediately started a complicated colorwork design that turned out amazing!! I still have & wear that sweater. I’ve never knit a sweater for a boyfriend (or my husband) (I have knit him some hats), but Sharon did… and they remained very good friends.
Worry not about THE CURSE! Years ago I knit the Christmas present sweater for my boyfriend who always had trouble finding one big enough. I really outdid myself….this one was HUGE….looked like a black tent! In the end I put it together on the sewing machine like a sewing project and trimmed the seams! It turned out amazingly well, and he wore it for years. We’ve been married 56 years.
<3
That's supposed to be a heart emoji, FYI!
Dear Ashe, you are a much, much braver person than I. First sweater and colorwork?? I have not made it to either.
But the pattern!! You can do this!! Sending good vibes into the universe for you.
Curse. Missing leg. DUPLICATE STITCH (if it is noticeable…the missing leg that is). If not noticeable, ignore it! Does giving the gift not-quite-finished serve as the everlasting garlic to repel the curse? Methinks it does (based on no research whatsoever… I like making up my own counter-curse methods). GOOD FOR YOU. Now you may need to build on three closets for the upcoming sweater wardrobe. B.E.G. (Big Evil-not-so-evil-truly happy Grin)
I’m glad there are comments here about beating the Curse. I haven’t had that experience. I made a sweater for a boyfriend, he took me to pick out a diamond but I never got the ring. We reconnected about 40 years later, made him a hat and about 2 years later I sent him packing. I crocheted a sweater jacket for my now ex-husband during our first year of marriage. And I made 2 sweaters with a third in progress and he had a massive heart attack and died. I must be carrying the curses from all those others.
The curse with a twist. About 50 years ago my brother’s girlfriend knit him (what was then called) a fisherman’s sweater. They broke up. He continued to wear the sweater. (It was a work of art.). However, he told future girl friends that I knit the sweater! I was a knitter, but I got credit for something way beyond my expertise at the time. After one relationship was getting serious, he fessed up. He was getting ready to introduce her to me and thought she was sure to ask me about it. (Like I said, it was a work of art.). But the curse was on him because she broke up with him for misleading her!
I have been a victim of the curse. However, that breakup was what made me available when my husband of 42+ years asked me out. It was so worth the loss of the sweater.
Ashe, all I want to know about is the scavenged roadkill and Petunia the Possum Head in a Jar. (Retired science teacher here.) How can you lose a guy when you have these attributes? My husband and I fell in love at a “rock show” as in sedimentary, metamorphic, and igneous when he successfully bid on a sample of coprolite (fossilized dinosaur dung) for me. There is truly someone for everyone. I say RELAX…..your guy is staying! But do post a pic of the man in the sweater, please!
I knitted a cabled pullover for my boyfriend when I was 19? 20? And we’ve been married almost 50 years. Maybe it had a mistake in it that I didn’t notice, but I doubt it!
There is no such thing as the curse. When I was 19 I made my first knitting Project a sweater for my new boyfriend styled after the sweaters he had seen of the Scottsboro boys wearing in a history book.
For $.50 I bought a how to knit book from the five and 10. It was a green pamphlet more than a book.
It was a beautiful piece knitting made from candied (sp) yarn. I am now 70 years old and have been married to that new boyfriend for fifty years.
He still has the sweater only it’s a little bit “too small” for him.
So I say have at it and knit that cute boy the sweater. You won’t regret it no matter how it turns out.
Married—happily—for 56 years to the boy I met when we were both 17. I made him a black turtleneck sweater before we were engaged. Many sweaters since!!! Good luck to you.
I feel that some relationships are just not meant to last and fall apart due to the length of time to knit a sweater rather than the curse. Though I do wonder at the world wide belief in it’s legitimacy. At any rate, I’ve had no negative outcomes from knitting my special men sweaters.
It’s not really a curse. I think it was more about the intentions of both the knitter and the recipient. Knitting a whole sweater implied a level of commitment and domesticity for which the beau might not have been ready. And if the beau knew anything about knitting, it’s probably because he’d seen his mother or grandmother doing it, adding “maternal” to the domesticity – yikes!
I knit a sweater for a boyfriend and the relationship ended (mutually) before I was finished with the sweater. So I finished it for the next boyfriend. I don’t consider it a curse because I married that next boyfriend and he wore the sweater until it fell apart.
Yes, yes, you MUST come back and tell us how this story turns out!!
Ashe, you are a jem. Will be waiting for the follow up. I wanted to knit a zebra patterned sweater for my them crush who was in the army. Only problem was I didn’t know how to knit at all. Never made it past the ribbing which my mother helped with and then I gave up. He is not my husband.