Beyond Knitting
Crafting Community One Stitch at a Time
It was a warm October evening. I walked into the bar at 6 and was a little afraid that no one would show up. I’d asked my childhood BFF, Lesley, to come with me, just in case.
To my surprise and relief, three knitters were already there chatting away. Thank goodness, I thought. This wasn’t just a scary fleeting thought.
I love knitting but my love is not only about yarn and the joy of making. From sitting with friends in Rhinebeck during NY Sheep and Wool to a spontaneous field trip to the Philly Yarn Crawl, knitting for me has always been a communal activity.
And last spring, it became an important healing practice, when I lost my dear friend Vickie ahead of a yarn trip with my knitting besties. Those friends who refused to let me grieve alone. They encouraged me to bring my yarn and join them despite the overwhelming stress, the sadness I was feeling, and the streams of unrelenting tears.
My community swooped in to help me during this trying time. That’s when I realized how powerful and healing knitting in community could be—and how important it was to have it in my Brooklyn neighborhood.
If I needed community, surely others in my neighborhood did as well. So late August 2024, I sat down, looked at my phone, and took to social media.
As a non-posting, almost invisible member of my neighborhood’s online group, I figured that would be the best place to start. Sure enough, with one post to the group, I had 26 responses. To me, that was enough to get this ball rolling.
It was surprising how easily a bar, people, and yarn fell into place. My intention was to create a safe space for all of my fiber-loving neighbors, which included creating group rules that must be agreed upon for joining. The current political climate made the idea of respect increasingly important; if someone doesn’t agree, they don’t get approved.
When it comes to the group, it’s the one thing I’m not flexible on. The rules essentially are: being unkind, hurtful, or hateful will not be tolerated.
Twelve people came to that first knit and crochet night in October. We introduced ourselves. We listened and talked to each other. We were vulnerable and caring with one another.
We spoke about the stress of jobs, life in Brooklyn, when and how we learned our crafts. Some of us were relative newbies while others were basically knitting and crochet phenoms. But that night as we knit and crocheted together, the most important fact about us all was that we needed a community of fiber friends.
We decided it was important to keep the energy going. I thought it would be wonderful to meet once a month, but to my surprise (and joy), the group decided to meet twice a month. Maybe it’s my woo-woo nature, but it always feels like our connection over yarn brings a little healing magic into that space and our lives.
Two weeks later, we met again at our cute neighborhood bar, Kissa Kissa, where they play jazz on vinyl records. (Pro tip: Jazz is the perfect musical soundtrack for a knit and crochet night because it doesn’t overwhelm juicy craft conversations.)
That second meeting sealed it; it was official, we were a fiber craft night! Now, we get anywhere from seven to twelve people at in-person meetups. Our online group, Unraveled in Crown Heights, has grown from 20 original members to over 60 in four months. We have had yarn swaps, shared finished objects, and discussed controversial patterns as well as our lives outside of yarn. And I and a few other friends have even become the people who, if we see someone knitting in public, will invite you to join us for the next meeting.
The importance of community may be the last and most important gift my friend Vickie ever gave me. We bonded over stories of neighborhood eateries and bars, as well as those about my new Brooklyn yarn adventures and shenanigans.
This neighborhood was a place she also loved and lived in for over 30 years. In her years of living here, she went on to pass on that love to me. I wish that I could share this story of learning to build community with her. And because of that wish, I think of her happily when I head to my biweekly knit and crochet nights to hang out with these amazing new fiber friends, with my project bag in tow.
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I’m so very sorry Jess, for the loss of your beautiful friend, Vickie. I know it’s hard, and I’ve been there, but you have the right idea by allowing your friends to help you through the dark loss into brighter moments. I’m looking for a knitting group myself here in Massachusetts. Thanks for your uplifting story.
Almost 3 years ( how can that be) since I lost my daughter. My therapist advised me to keep my hands busy. Good advice, and even now I still do.
PS I’m in RI
Thank you Gitte. It will be a year next week. It’s hard, but community is has been extremely helpful.
Where in Massachusetts? I am in Northampton!
Hi, I’m in worcester!
I’m in Worcester!
I’m closer to Boston. Might have to start my own.
Thank you Jessica for writing about this; my Kneighnorhood Knitters (and crafters!) group has been a great support gathering, in so many ways!
I meant to reply to the group!
The Penelope Knitters have been meeting every Thursday at a local Panera’s for 25 years. The “membership” has changed over the years as people come and go. Two members have passed away, , have been lost.
The group name comes from the wife of Ulysses. She would weave her tapestry by day, and rip it out by night, to avoid marriage. We knit at Panera’s and then go home and find our mistakes! Too much laughing, chatting, and eating to pay attention to anything at all complicated!
We share and learn from each other, too. Brioche, beaded knitting, mosaic, etc. It keeps things fresh. We’ll do an occasional “lemming” project where we all jump off the cliff together. The 27-Color Snood is one such example.
I’ve always loved the name Penelope. Now I know why lol!
Still missing the key who lit my curiosity into my fiber expedition, my mom. She would have loved your concept and implementation of a group to share “needling” fun.
Instead of isolation, your friends are reaching out, sharing ideas and listening to each other. Right now that’s very important, to take and share the small seeds of kindness, hope and buddies (flowering).
Lovely! Does feel great to chat and laugh with others around a similar hobby
I love wearing my hand-knit sweaters during cold weather and gifting exquisite treasures to babies, but my friendships are what yarning is all about. So sorry for your loss, Jessica. I wish I could take a class from you.
Great article. What a wonderful parting gift from a dear friend. It’s also very encouraging, to think these new friends were in your neighborhood all along.
What a wonderful and inspiring essay!
Wow, Jessica! I have been having some weepy mornings and this did it for me. I am so sorry for your loss of Vickie, but what an amazing tribute is living on in a community that you facilitated. I am glad this has helped you to heal and share joy with others.
I moved to a rural community a year ago about an hour from where I had lived for 64 years. I knew no one here. I desperately needed a change after my husband died six years ago. I knew that country living would provide the solace and healing I needed. So, I am plopped here in the middle of 57 acres. I made wonderful new friends in the local yoga community. My friends/family from my previous area loved “escaping to the country” for visits.
This winter someone posted on our community FB page that she would love to learn to knit. Others jumped in. A local shop owner offered her craft space for the group. I had taught groups of fourth graders in a knitting club during my teaching years. I volunteered to teach. The Carrollton Third Thursday Knitters were born! We ended up with fifteen registered to learn and a waiting list! It was a large group, but some with basic skills jumped right in to help others. We knitted on chopsticks and donated yarn. At the end of the first meeting, I realized that what this group wanted most in the darkness of winter was a sense of community. We laugh, we knit, and we share our lives. At our last meeting (only the third), the group was all able the knit, purl, yo, and k2tog. The knitters were a little giddy as they saw patterns developing in the knitted fabric they were creating. This month, we are starting a simple cowl. In April, we are opening the group up to any handcrafter that wants to attend since the newbies have basic knitting skills. One of the things I have enjoyed the most is hearing about the history of handcrafters in the group’s families. So many amazing grandmothers and aunties left lasting impressions of the importance of making with one’s hands. We are making our way back to that. I so look forward to seeing our group continue to grow and make meaningful connections. And look at this….I wrote a column! LOL
Dear Sharon, I loved reading about your group and I hope it goes from strength to strength.
I had a group that met at my house for crafting (mostly knitters attended) and I was hoping to find something similar when we moved out of state. I checked with Meetup and found a group here. My first time I was surprised to find that all of the members were in their 30’s, I was the only grey haired person there! I have had a wonderful time with this group, and having been a college teacher before I retired I am so pleased to have younger people in my life again.
One of the best kept secrets about knitting is the intergenerational aspect! I used to be at the young end, now I’m at…some other place…and the knitting community is still my home in the world.
Our Greenfield group just passed our 3rd birthday last Oct. We too gather, sip, share our lives and knit and crochet! And also more recently, we share our embroidery, ceramic painting, lego, sewing, and needle felting! Crafters gotta craft….and sharing makes it more fun.
This is so beautifully written. Thank you for sharing this with us.
This was beautiful, powerful & relatable. You can tell your essay moved me. Thank you for opening yourself up to share with us.
Thank you for this excellent article and reminder of how much community matters. Reading your story made me feel closer to my current and former knitting communities and so appreciate of them!
How timely. There is a dearth of knitters in my ever-shrinking circle (introvert who has hit 70). By next summer, my two longest-running besties (and who knit) will have moved out of state. Other friends have health challenges that make socializing challenging. A crocheting pal and I plan to try a knitting/sewing group at a local library tomorrow night, and we’re preparing to enjoy the Bay Area Yarn Crawl later this month. I need more friends, especially knitting friends, in my life. Thanks for the push!
Which library? I’m in the east bay.
It took me forever to start an in-person knitting group. Once you start it, it takes on a life of its own!
Thank you for reminding us how important it is bringing people together to knit, converse, share. Our community is small enough that we can walk to each other’s houses unless someone is in a cast or boot, etc. Our number swells and ebbs with the seasons as people come to ski or hike and mountain bike.
Two weeks ago as we started to snack and knit we realized a friend was late, unnaturally late. At that moment she texted the host to say she was in the ER after falling down the stairs. Luckily no fracture, as she is still recovering from a skiing knee injury. At 74 I am the oldest. None of us has escaped injury, debilitating or life threatening disease.
We assist, support and listen to each other as we face life problems described by others in this thread. We leave feeling lighter and calmer. Sincere human contact is important for all of us. Continue to write that post, email or text that will bring people together. Knitting gives us common ground.
The best thing about the knitting communities is the connections it fosters.
Hello Fellow Fiber Artists, I am your crafting sister from Baltimore. I thank you, Jessica, for loving and supporting my cousin, Vickie, when family couldn’t be there. It’s exciting when you find a community of people who share the same love. Maybe I can combine my next trip up with your meeting. I would love to meet you. Wonderful, Jessica! Happy stitching to you all.
Thanks Karen! Vickie was like my family. I wish I could have done more.
Happy to welcome you our fiber nights when you are in town!
This article hits home. I am involved in a couple of different yarn groups. One of them was supposed to be my BFF and I getting together to catch up with each other and finish some projects. Then a woman our age and then a young man in his 20s approached us to ask if we could teach them to knit. Once we got them started we asked other of our knit/crochet friends to join us. It evolved rapidly into a group with anywhere from 3-10 people on any given Monday afternoon. Our young man has even brought some of his friends to our group, and we started a 2nd young man knitting. One of our ladies brought a friend of hers who wanted to get started knitting before having heart surgery so she would have something to work on while recovering. And now we have another friend
It has been an amazing thing to see how the 2 of us has become about 15! We have such a good time laughing and commiserating with each other
I love this so much!!!
Absolutely beautiful article, I have been wanting to start my own irl fiber crafts group in the Ann Arbor area and have never pulled the trigger. You inspire me to figure this out! (Also, I am so incredibly honored that my Kraken Cowl pattern is gracing your article’s banner!!! Squeee!)
Hi Mary!
Starting the group has been the best thing I’ve done in a while. I hope you start yours!
One of our group members used your Kraken Cowl to teach herself colorwork. The whole group was in awe and inspired. Now we all want to learn to make it. I had to take a pic ( save to Ravelry).
Amazing Octopus Design Knitted Blanket. Wow! Inspirational!
This was a pattern that one of our members was working on. It’s the first time she did colorwork!
Could you share a link to the pattern?
I’m coming to this party late, but I wanted to suggest that Knit For Food on April 5 is a great reason to gather friends, knit, and raise a little money for World Central Kitchen, No Kid Hungry, Meals on Wheels, and Feeding America.
Details here: https://www.nelkindesigns.com/index.cfm/page/knitathon/knitathon25.htm
❤️
I too have a knitting group that has become an important part of my life after a loss. We meet weekly at the library and we are always welcoming new knitters. I’m interested in how your yarn swap worked. We all have yarn that we either are never going to use or left from a project and would love to find a new home – so do we bring it and have a free-for- all or…? What has worked for others out there?
My beloved knitting group meets weekly for lunch and knitting at the local senior center. We have developed strong connections with the six regular members. Occasionally, we receive yarn donations from other seniors. Two large tubs-full arrived recently and we decided they should be used for charity knitting. So we are each making 200-stitch garter blankets, changing yarns each row. This results in fringes on each side. We will be able to combine the pieces from several knitters to make larger blankets, which we’ll donate to one of our member’s favorite cancer charity.
“Itch to Stitch” has met at our neighborhood library every Tuesday morning at 10 for at least the last 15 years. All handwork and handworkers are welcome. The librarian who started it has retired, but still comes almost every week, and a colleague has taken over the sponsorship. Lately the group has grown to fill the room. Instead of one conversation, we have many. We have ingathered people who stop to see what we are doing. I don’t know how many people we have taught to knit or crochet, or how many people with troubles-from “I need a recommendation of someone to cut my hair” to “I need rides to visit somebody in the hospital”-have been helped. Not to speak of “How do I keep the front bands of this sweater from curling?” Friendships started here continue out into other parts of our lives. I say “I love this group”, either to the person seated next to me or to myself, every week. So, yup: community.
Wonderful story and a great way to find fellow knitters and develop a community. Thank you so much.
I sorry of your friend me too I lost a son in 2011 and lost my husband in 2024 it’s been really hard some days are hard someone ask how what was I doing I said stay busy was cleaning now it’s new to chrochet I say I still in trial. Bur I have stay. Busy only things seems help thanks for a place to come and exsprees our self take care happy chrochet !!!
Thank you, Jessica for sharing this sweet and uplifting story. I’m so sorry for your loss of your dear friend. Knitting has seen me through highs and lows in life and I never take that for granted.
I moved to Middle Tennessee about 18 months ago, knowing only two families who were friends of ours. One of them knew I was a knitter and had found a knit/crochet group in her neighborhood. She invited me to join them and the rest is history. The group, Yarned and Dangerous, formed a little over a year ago and we have grown by a couple of people but remain relatively small which is nice for conversation. Later this week 4 of us are going to be getting matching knitting WIP tattoos which we will sport at Nash Yarn Fest. This group of women have become good friends and have created a connection for me in my new home state based on my love of knitting. We invite new friends to join us when we come across them.
Wherever we are, I’m glad that there always seems to be a fellow fiber enthusiast around to connect with and in some cases, create a community with.
True Community building is difficult work and few people choose to engage.
I am grateful to my beloved and beautiful husband for introducing me to M. Scott Peck and community building workshops.
Our marriage included the tools and guidelines for true community.
Foundation for Community Encouragement aka FCE. I hope is still in existence.