First Person
Crochet Connections
Who do I come from?
The thought had rattled around in my brain for several months before I decided to process the question.
My relationship to the adults in my family up until that point had been one of child to adult. But as I’ve gotten older, I realized I might not have a clear picture of who they were outside of their relationship to me.
As I went out into the world and began to have adventures that I never would have shared with my family, it dawned on me that they probably did the same. Suddenly, I realized that the sides of their personality I thought were so clear to me could possibly have been colored by my childhood lens.
So in my early twenties, I decided to travel the country and meet with the women in my family to have deeper conversations with them.
Growing up, my Aunt Christine had always been clouded in mystery.
My grandfather had three sisters: my Aunt Thelma in Ohio, Aunt Christine in Florida, and Aunt Idell who passed away before I could know her. Although I only remembered meeting my Aunt Thelma, I had grown up hearing many stories about all three formidable sisters.
Before I knew it I found myself heading to Florida instead to meet my Aunt Christine for the first time in my memory.
It wasn’t until I was about to knock on her door that I could feel the ball of nerves that had built up in my stomach. And if I hadn’t already taken a plane, train, and automobile to get to her, I might have given into my nerves and run in the opposite direction.
But I had. So I knocked.
I don’t know why but I was surprised to see an older woman on the other side of the door, rather than the young woman in the photographs I’d grown up seeing. However, she lived up to the legend.
As I settled into her comfy couch and her into her chair across from me, I felt lost for words. She was a stranger and a tough nut to crack.
During the first hour of my visit I looked frantically around the room, grasping for a connection to lean on. But whether it was my comments on the episode of The Price Is Right playing in the background or mentions of my grandfather, I was met with a brick wall.
Exasperated, I had all but given up on my quest when I spotted the blanket draped over the chair behind her. It was crocheted.
“Did you make that?” I asked, already knowing the answer. “Yes, I did,” she replied. I sat back and smiled before replying, “I love crochet. I do it all the time.”
A flash of joy twinkled in her eye. I could see her meticulously built walls come down.
We shared war stories about our favorite stitches and the projects that had gotten away. I told her about my making dreams and she shared dreams that she once had too.
She talked about her childhood and opened up with stories about her mother, a woman I had never known.
She shared how crochet had been her favorite hobby and lifeline over the years.
In that meeting, I discovered she had been the maker behind a beloved crochet blanket I grew up with. It was the blanket that wrapped me up when I was home sick with the flu. It played the role of fort during rainy summer weekends with my sister. That blanket had wiped my tears during heartbreaks and shielded me from scary moments in movies.
Christine was no longer a mystery. She had been with me my whole life.
My aunt scolded me to take care of my wrists—and that scolding is probably the reason why I now stretch while I stitch. She had over-done it and could no longer hold a hook due to debilitating wrist pain.
When it was nearly time for me to leave, she told me she had something for me. She left the room, then came back holding a white shell-stitched blanket. A red hook stuck out of a loop as if it had just been put down only moments before. It occurred to me that it had probably been sitting in its spot since the moment she realized she could no longer work on it.
She handed me the blanket. “I want you to have this” she said. I realized at that moment, I knew her completely.
For years, that blanket haunted my WIP pile. Just the other day, however, I finally gathered the courage to start stitching it again. The memory of that Florida afternoon in my twenties came flooding back. Although my Aunt Christine is now long gone, I could still feel that common thread that binds us together in every stitch I made.
I learned back then what I know to be truer than ever today: our stitching is more than a thing we do. It’s a part of who we are. It connects us to one another.
What a special gift we get to share with those we love.
Come Shop With Us
And that blanket is now a sacred object! What a wonderful story!! How often I wish had 1 more day with my grandmother….if for no other reason than to knit along with her as she knit bandages for people with leprosy…and listen like never before…
My mom knit bandages for people with leprosy too! They were her favorite thing to knit for the last several decades of her life.
Replace crochet with knitting, and you have the connection that ties my aunt and myself together. I saw her a few times every year, and we talked on the phone, and our conversation would always start with knitting. She passed away at the end of last year at 96 years old after a short illness. I now do have the last sock she worked on sitting in my knitting basket, as well as the balls of sock yarn that she wound in preparation for more sock knitting. Someday, lonely sock will get a companion, and the balls of sock yarn will be knit up in memory of her.
Great story. So true as i think of all the handed down textiles, quilt top patches and skills.
My mother and I were not close, but I took up knitting to give us a bridge, and our last conversation was about a knitting problem I was having. The bridge worked for 20 years. I keep starting WIPs but without the determination or counseling I once had.
All the knitting needles, crochet hooks, tins of buttons, embroidery thread, sewing boxes etc etc from my mother and 2 aunts have ended up with me. I use something from them pretty much every day. Ordinary things, but so precious. Loved reading this.
Button tins! Lucky you! I have my mom’s embroidery scissors in my carry around knitting bag.
This is a beautiful, inspiring story of connections and love. Telling such stories to each other will keep us strong, and stitching (not that I need any encouragement there!). Monday: Stitching Stories. I could see that, and look forward to it! Thank you, Samantha and MDK.
What a wonderful story.
What a beautiful story!
Right now I’m knitting my husband a sweater with yarn my aunt bought in the early 70s. It’s bring back so many memories of that brave and independent woman. She was my inspiration for so many things in life and in knitting – not being afraid of trying new things, enjoying the process, using the good yarn.
I love this story as I can relate to it so well. I love to quilt because it connects me to my grandmothers, aunts, and Mother. I love to crochet, knit and sew because it connects me to my wonderful mother who passed away a few years ago. I have so many things in my house that were given to me by the women in my family and especially my Mother. Unfortunately my nieces and nephews don’t care for all the handmade things so probably one day, my beautiful items will wind up in the garbage. As I “make” things I think of my ancestors and am so thankful that I can do some of the wonderful things I do because of them. The memories are wonderful.
Do you think our descendants will have the same great memories that we have??
Thanks so much for your terrific article.
Really appreciate it.
So glad you could meet your Aunt Christine and discuss your love of crafts!
Such a lovely story. Found among my mother-in-law’s things after she passed were three knitted squares and a bit of unknitted yarn. No one had seen her working on them and we didn’t know what they were meant for (she did lots of knitting for her church). But I brought them home with the intent that someday I’ll do something with them for her three granddaughters.
Happy tears! Such a beautiful story! Common threads, indeed! My grandmother was a crochet fan and tried to teach me several times, with little success. I didn’t learn to knit till I was in my forties and she was not around to see what I made. I like to think that I carry some of her maker spirit in me. Now I try to teach others so the threads can continue.
This one brought tears to my eyes.
This was such a beautiful recollection of family relationships and the crafts which bind generations together. I too have a throw my grandmother made for me which I have cherished for 36 years. Thank you for sharing your story.
“She had been with me my whole life.” Beautiful insight!
This is beautiful!! I am 65.75 years old and am sitting here with the afghan my grandma gave me when I was in college. I use it every day. It is also the crocheted shell pattern. I remember making her one of those awful latch hook rugs (it was the 70s) and she proudly put it on the back of her sofa. I loved my grandma so intensely— and still do. My Mom didn’t knit or crochet— too many kids and not enough time. But I have enjoyed knitting nearly every day the past 8 years.
Really enjoyed this—thank you!
I have a wooden crochet hook that my great uncle made for my great aunt. It is carved from a hardwood that grew on their farm along the edge of the tobacco fields. It is smoothed from years of crocheted blankets, doilies, and garments (though I have not seen many). My great aunt was a nurse, wife, mother, daughter and great inspiration to me. I loved their annual visits to us in the foothills/mountains and their tales of their family in the flat lands. And wish I could hear more of their stories today.
<3
What a fabulous yarn you spin!
What a nice story! Thaks for sharing!
Samantha, your story is a beautiful reflection of connection across the generations. I love that you described perfectly how a creative talent can be a pathway for joyful communication. The unfinished blanket your Aunt Christine gave you will be a treasured heirloom when you finish it (I hope it’s finished already). By the way, the two photos of your elders made me smile.
Thank you for sharing your story. I’m thinking it will send more than just me looking for that UFO that creates a connection with a loved one. Here’s to making and continuing memories.
I think I met a relative!!!
Change the place and the time and it is my family, my wonderful family stretched over borders and oceans….
It’s the Threads that bind us……
Oh, the stories we could tell, record the voices, hold the finished projects…..
Take photos with our hearts.
Although we never crocheted or knitted together, my grandmother and I shared the love of both. When she passed, I got her needles, sewing machine and a few wips.
It’s been 2 years, but your article reminded me of how precious bonding moments are.
What a wonderful story. Thank you Samantha.
Beautiful story.
Beautiful story! Thanks for sharing
Lovely story, thank you so much! I have all of my aunt’s knitting needles and still use them occasionally. She was a big influence helping me learn to knit and was very crafty, a kindred soul.
Thank you for sharing such a beautiful story. I was all misty eyed by the end
Thank you Samantha for your beautiful story of the power of stitched connections! It made me cry in the end .
Somewhere along the way, I gladly took the crochet afghan that my great-grandmother made–a crocheted wave blanket out of #10 crochet cotton doubled (now called marling) and a filet crochet hanging that says: “Alcohol is no longer King.” WHOOEY!!! I didn’t know her as she died before I was born. A tough life in an even tougher time with 4 wild boys and an even wilder family in the West.
I knit every day and am glad life isn’t as difficult for me as it was for her. Knitting takes the edge off things as I hope crochet did for her.
What a beautiful story of finding connections when you didn’t think you could.
Thanks for sharing. I have tears.
Thank you for sharing this beautiful story. I knit baby blankets for my nieces and nephews who are only just now entering adulthood. A knit or crocheted blanket is a portable hug and I hope they carry it with them always.
My grandma would spend her days sitting in the window where she could look out at her world while she crocheted. I rarely saw her without a hook in her hand. In the evenings, as we sat around listening to the radio (this was before TV was ubiquitous), she was crocheting. I mostly remember her making perfect little dresses for my shelf full of Storybook dolls. Never a pattern — just dress after dress in bright or pastel cotton thread.
She taught me to crochet when I was about six. Her words still ring in my ears: Not so tight! Keep those stitches loose! I still do, to this day.
Thank you for your beautiful walk with your aunt. The gift of your memories reminded me of glorious connections I have with my extended family.
What a nice article, very heart warming. We are all connected, we just have to find that connection.
Wonderful memories, Samantha. At 8 years old my grandma started teaching me to crochet. I was a very tight crocheter. After many failed attempts to loosen up, she suggested I start knitting and we both enjoyed our time together. I did learn to crochet, but prefer to knit. I loved our time together.
What a beautiful story! I had some tears while reading it, wonderful memories of all of the cooking and crafting sessions I had with my mom, grandmothers, and a great aunt or two. We enjoyed all crafts – knitting, crochet, sewing, embroidery, needlepoint, beading, among others, and tried our hand at whatever was “new.” Macrame, rug hooking, candlewicking…you name it, we wanted to try it, with a lot of love and laughter. I miss them all, and am happy to still have their tools and so many of the things we made together.
What a beautiful and heartwarming story. Thank you so much for sharing.
Samantha, I loved hearing about the connection you were able to forge with your Aunt! Thanks for sharing this beautiful story.
I can really relate to crafters in your history. My grandmother was a knitter. She tried to teach me when I was about 8 – but my short attention span and long distance from her kept it from really “taking” the first time. After I was an adult, I finally learned, and now I am an avid knitter. One of the best things about being a knitter now is that I can really appreciate the heirlooms that she knit for me and my family when I was a child – I can see the complexity of the knitting and the time she put in and the love!
This is wonderful! I knit my grandmothers dreams, and she use to make the Eaton sweaters! Today’s yarns and techniques make her so happy to see. I also learned to cross stitch to connect with a grandfather I didn’t really know. He was long past when I learned, but knowing the art form that gave him peace is amazing
Thank you for sharing such a wonderful memory! And that white shell stitch blanket is beautiful! It looks like there’s a section with cables and front post stitches, but it might not be in the same blanket as the shell stitch. I knit and crochet, Mom taught me both arts.
I loved every moment reading this story, thank you, Samantha!!
I too, am overwhelmed with memories and inspiration from my Grandma, who showed me the basic basics in sewing and crochet, and set up in little 5 year old me, a lifelong Passion!
Thank you!!
I, too, have tears of joy in my eyes. Growing up, my sister and I shared a star quilt that a friend of the family made. We treasured it for years. My mother taught me how to crochet, which I did for over 30 years. Then I moved on to embroidery, cross stitch, and now I’ve been knitting for almost 20 years. I taught my daughters to crochet and cross stitch while they were young. My youngest daughter is a fabulous knitter. She is carrying on the crafting. I have to mention my grandmother, who had a treadle Singer sewing machine. She had a box of buttons that I loved to play with at her home down the street from my house.
Crafting lives on in our lives.
What a great story! My great grandmother crocheted an afghan that was on my grandmother’s bed until she died and then my mother got it. I remember her napping under it. It went to the nursing home with my mom, and when she died my SIL told the staff they could have whatever was in her room! I didn’t know this until it was way too late. I hope it is being loved somewhere but I picture it on a thrift store shelf for $3. How tragic- 3 generations under that afghan.
Such a touching, beautiful story. My grandmother taught me to knit when I was young but then I got busy with education and life and didn’t knit for a long time. Now I’ve taken it up again, like a new knitter. But I do think of my wonderful grandmother and all her lovely stitches. Thank you for sharing and reminding us that our crafts can connect us all.
Wonderful story! Diane
What a lovely memory.
Wonderful!
This is such a beautiful piece. It made me think of the crocheted blankets that I have from my mother-in-law and grandmother. It’s time for me to pass those down to my nieces and nephews. Thank you!
What a beautiful story!
A very moving story beautifully told. Thank you so much for sharing it. There is a lot of wisdom in your words.
This is lovely. I wish both of my beloved grandmothers could know that I am now a knitter. They made beautiful afghans, mittens, etc for us. They both tried to teach me when I was a kid but it never stuck. Unfortunately they passed long before I took up knitting, but it makes me think of them often when I knit now.
Keep telling your family stories and keep searching. I am a crocheter and knitter and a family history buff. They often seem like a waste of time to me and others I’m sure but all keep me a float and remind me how strong the women were in my past. Coming from such a sturdy family and filled with love is a constant memory.
Beautiful story! Keep stretching and stitching!
Love this!❤️
Thank you!
Beautiful! Enjoy your stitching, and your memories. Thank you for sharing.
How lovely! And yes, family connections can show up in surprising ways. I am so glad you got to meet your aunt.
What a wonderful story. So wish my grandmother could have seen the knitter I became.
I enjoyed reading this article. I the only one in my family that has done any needlework of any kind. (Going back and present 2 generations either way.) You are very blessed. I made several “lap size” blankets for my mom when she was in wheelchair, before she passed, and recently am again doing crochet.
How wonderful.
What a wonderful story…enjoyed every word. You have the gift of great story telling. How courageous you were to travel to meet her and knock on the door.
Thanks for sharing!
Well, Samantha, your story brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for this beautiful sharing.
What a touching story. I appreciate the share.
Such a lovely tribute! Tearing up just thinking of my grandmother. Thank you for giving us a moment to remember why we ended up with needles and thread in our hands.
nice!!!
Superb… Crochet is a therapy and meditation by itself.
It takes us to the next world
What a beautiful story.
What a lovely story of you and your Aunt and the way your crocheting connected you both Samantha. I am an avid cross stitcher and make gifts yearly for my family. It has forged a bond with us also. I enjoy fitting the project to the person. I have now started to knit and crochet again and hope to make gifts with these endeavors too.
Your story touched me. Thank you.
Thank you for your lovely story! The more “elderly” we are, the more those knit or crochet connections show themselves, I think. It’s true for me anyway. I like your blog very much. The creations are wonderful!
What a sweet story and true ending of our connection to each other through our craft. Thank you!!
I love this story. Thank you for sharing.
Lovely. Thanks for sharing
What a lovely and heartwarming story that will resonate with so many readers. You’ve enriched our lives by revealing to us to your aunt and yourself, as well. Thank you.
This is a perfect opening to a book I want to read –
I have so many questions looking for answers, I would not be able to put the book down!
Lovely writing and lovely story, thanks for sharing Samantha
Grabbing the tissues now! What a lovely memory. Thanks for sharing.
I learned to crochet from one of my grandmas. The other had crocheted, too, but had dementia and died when I was young. I have many things they made. They reflect their makers. Grandma K: delicate white and cream lace, with white and gold plates and cups. Grandma N lace doilies with multi colored lace flowers around the edges and ruby and green depression glass. I, too, have a lace tablecloth with a rumpled magazine and a hook in a bag. This one from my elderly friend who taught me to quilt years ago. I need to dig that out.
I loved your story! Thank you so much for sharing it.
Oh, Samantha…you had me in tears. What a beautiful story. My mom crocheted and sewed. She made most of my clothes when I was growing up and most of her own clothes as well. Evening gowns too!! My dad built the house I grew up in, so I inherited my “maker” genes from both of them. I knit, crochet and make jewelry. And, thanks to my dad, I can fix things around the house or help my husband with his fix-it jobs. Thank you for reminding us of those connections we make through the work of our hands. I’m blessed with a wonderful daughter-in-law who crochets and will inherit my yarn stash. Thanks for sharing your story and those beautiful family photos. You made my morning!! ❤️
Thank you for sharing this Samantha. It is important to ask the questions, listen and learn who our family members as a whole person before they are no longer here. I missed the opportunities for it and now hope to instill the necessity of knowing in my children and grandchildren.
What a beautiful story. My grandmother taught me to knit, crochet and embroider . Such special times and I think of her each time I take up one of these to make a project.
Thank you for sharing this moving story
I’m not crying. You’re crying.
I love this story as I can relate to it so well. I love to quilt because it connects me to my grandmothers, aunts, and Mother. I love to crochet, knit and sew because it connects me to my wonderful mother who passed away a few years ago. I have so many things in my house that were given to me by the women in my family and especially my Mother. Unfortunately my nieces and nephews don’t care for all the handmade things so probably one day, my beautiful items will wind up in the garbage. As I “make” things I think of my ancestors and am so thankful that I can do some of the wonderful things I do because of them. The memories are wonderful.
What a beautiful story! And what courage you showed to approach your basically unknown aunt! A true gift for both of you. And such a lovely keepsake! You are absolutely right…knitting or crocheting connects us to one another…no matter where those people are!
What a beautiful story. Thank you so much for sharing it with us.
My brother who was only 15 years old died in November 1974 and Todd was my only sibling. I was 21 and going to school in Boulder. My birthday is on February 19th and my grandmother had knit a complex Aran pullover sweater for me and it was a big hug from her. Almost 50 years later I still have that sweater and when I wear it I feel loved
What a lovely story about your Aunt Christine and the common thread that drew you to her! I’m so glad she gifted you the unfinished blanket, for you two are joined together with a ball of yarn and a red crochet hook❤️
Lovely story. Brought to mind the crafters in my family. Mother, Grandmother, aunts, sisters, cousins, nieces. Thank you.
I have quilts, lace trimmed doilies, embroidered table cloths piano and dresser scarves, baby things, baskets, a crocheted lace bedspread, afghans, and needlepoint items covering the last 200 years from women in my family. I know my mother and my aunt have even more. I use and enjoy at least some of the things, knowing that my kids likely don’t want all of it, if any.
I love this story about connections and love because there was a lot of love stitched into the crochet blanket u grew up with! Ty so very much for sharing! Ur story made me feel good
I’m knitting with tears in my eyes. What a lovely story. Thank you!