Letters
Your Life Gets Better Now
Dear Ann,
I think a secret to our long, hilarious collaboration is that we don’t feel competitive with each other. Well—if you’ve made me laugh an extra lot, I do feel the need to say something super dumb to get you to laugh, just to keep the balance-of-laughter out of a deficit situation, but other than that, I feel like our mutual philosophy is, you go girl, shine on you shiny star!
But—you knew there was gonna be a but.
I’ve had a thorn in my paw (if there’s ever a Family Feud category of Things Ann Shayne Says, “thorn in paw” is gonna win big)—ever since you delivered the tidings of great joy about that amazing amazing mop.
The crowd went wild, lives were forever changed, and there you were in the spotlight, everybody’s patron saint of pandemonium housekeeping.
For more than a year now, I’ve been wondering, would my Mop Moment ever come? Would I ever find a truly great gizmo on the internet that would make everybody go completely insane with the sheer usefulness of it?
Well, here it is. Are you ready?
The World’s Greatest Garden Hose, Really
As you know, despite my family name Gardiner, I am terrible at gardening. But I persist. What with you, and all the members of Team MDK, and most of my New York buddies—I’m surrounded by plant lovers, and I want a seat at that table.
So I “garden.” This mostly involves perennials that have very short lives for things called perennial, but I do my best. When I fall down, I get back up and have another go.
One of the things plants need is water.
And one of the things I find most odious about gardening is the garden hose. It is so heavy, and I can’t help wondering what is happening, biologically, in all the warm water that sits inside that manky plastic tube in the hot sun. I struggle to move the damn thing from place to place, and it harbors slime and spiders and … it’s just a lot for me, you know?
Recently I asked my niece to find a cart for the hose so that we could at least wind it up and keep it off the ground and roll it instead of drag it. She went hunting on the internet, and struck absolute garden hose gold.
It’s this amazing thing.
A sturdy, lightweight garden hose that empties itself every time you use it.
When you turn on the water, it fills up and stretches to two to three times its length when empty.
When you’re done watering, you turn the water off, empty the hose (by simply pressing down on the sprayer trigger until it stops spraying), and watch the hose slither on the ground as it shrinks back to its original size. I still go OH WOWWW every time this happens—what is this sorcery? Sure it’s not just earthly mechanics?
Then you can hang it up on a hook or just loop it around the faucet itself. It’s light as a feather, so you can easily move it around to wherever you want it.
It’s so light and small and dry and non-spidery that you could even have one in the 25-foot size in an apartment, for balcony or terrace planters.
I am thrilled to provide an affiliate link.
You’re welcome, gardeners and would-be gardeners.
And: over to you, Ann. Shine on, you shiny star!
Love,
Kay
MDK earns a commission from purchases through affiliate links in this post.
Well if that just don’t beat a thorn in the paw
Sounds like just what I need! My husband has an elaborate set up of hoses and timers and such. . .if I want to use one, I usually just pray that the one I use will work. Or use a watering can if I can find an empty faucet on the house. I’m going to check this one out!
AND IT COMES IN ORANGE!!! *oh be still!*
Orange!! Just bought one in ORANGE. Now I’ll be able to tell the spiders from the house.
I love the orange!
Nine spray patterns!!! Be still my heart.
I dunno, that mop was a game changer.
Well, you ladies have become the QVC of the knitting world! My love for THAT MOP is enduring. I even made a little video and sent to friends that also bought THAT MOP. So, now off to buy THAT HOSE!
After hearing from me how difficult it is to use a rubber hose, my son presented me with this hose years ago. Bless his heart. It is magic to watch it return itself to its original shape and size, dump it into a bucket until it is needed again. Love it!
Ordering now.
My game changer is an automatic watering system. Not too expensive and easy to set up. It comes on 10 minutes in the morning and keeps everything looking happy with minimal effort.
Yup best hose ever. I have 2 of them
I Love my hose! One neighbor told another who told another and before you knew it the whole block had this amazing hose.
(Weird to be praising a garden hose!)
Funny, the dandelions in my garden don’t need extra water…
I have this hose! It’s a winner!
We are in search of a hose that mice, chipmunks, and squirrels won’t chew.
YUP THIS HOSE IS A GAME CHANGER!!
We have 3 faucets at our place and all of them take advantage of this amazing hose! The one in the backyard is draped over a hook so my 3 yr old grandson can easily use it when we’re out back in his play area. (With supervision of course) the side yard accommodates where the family washes the cars and hangs from an arched metal wall hanging gizmo. My favorite one of all is on the far side of the house and serves my front yard perennial garden/ and this one is easily cooked with a woven basket that sits on the ground near the faucet – hauling this out to accommodate the entire front yard used to be a nightmare, not any more!!
(And a side note: as I do not mop floors, we have a Shark floor steamer that Hubz is master of, for me Kay the the hose takes the prize!!!!) Happy knitting all!
Discovered this gem earlier this summer and it has been a godsend for my urban yard! I can easily reach every corner of my yard from the only hose connection I have and no hernia dragging a monster rubber hose around. The hose does like to “stick” to my concrete driveway but so far, no holes!
Hi Kay! Enjoyed meeting you at the Shakerag Getaway! I have 4 of those hoses!!!! They come in many different sizes and hold up very well. I have them on my balconies, front yard and by the garage. Love them!!!! Made me a happier gardener too.
I’ve seen hoses like this advertised but was kinda skeptical of their claims, and I don’t order things on TV. But with your glowing review, I jumped on your affiliate link and ordered 2! (The yellow/green combo!) Btw, so glad you mentioned THE MOP;) I’ve been trying to remember what it was called as I’m getting new flooring and wanted to look into that again! Thx as always for your PSA’s!!
Hi Kay, I just love, love, love your reference to “that manky plastic tube” !!
I bought this very same magic hose in June. It’s a game-changer. Shine on, Kay!
I get you!!! I got mine earlier this year, and I love it! In fact I love it so much I may be drowning my plants!
Potential customers might want to read the reviews before ordering.
Always do!
Looks very cool, but does it hold up over time? The first few reviews say that the hoses failed soon after being put into service. I’d hate to have my high hopes crushed if it doesn’t hold up.
I had one spring a leak this year. I MAY have accidentally stepped on it. I think they can withstand that kind of abuse when new, but not after 2-3 years.
I’ve had mine for at least 5 years and it’s held up fine. I put it in the shed when not in use so it’s not lying in the sun, which is easy to do since it’s so light. And I’m still not tired of watching it shrivel up as it empties!
I’m glad to hear from a user of this hose. I’ve had my eye on it for a bit, but couldn’t trust online reviews. That is, until now.
My hoses always selector kinks, which shut the water off. It’s very frustrating. So happy to find out about one that won’t do that.
I have just such a hose, circa this gardening season. I use it for the potted beauties on the deck and just love how it slinks down the stairs when I turn the water off. I’m officially putting my old deadweight hoses on the curb for freebies.
Mutual hose hater here. And this is perfect timing since I am about to move into a brand new home at the end of the month!
This gave me a giggle. You ladies are so witty and clever. And influential, as evidenced by my new online purchases of a garden hose and….. a mop and bucket. Yep, a lemming has nothing over me. Cheers.
Now that we are finally moved into the “Wilds of Tennessee,” I purchased “The Mop.” I’ll let you know how it goes….
I bought that same hose this spring! Avoid stretching the hose or letting anything impede the shrinking when you turn it off, keep out of direct sunlight in the summer, and bring indoors in the winter so it doesn’t freeze. I’ve had some different stretchy hoses in the past that lasted a couple of years each, but this one looks sturdier, keeping my fingers crossed.
I bought one this summer & love it!! It’s also so light that you don’t crush plants as you move it around the garden. Next year I’m buying another one of these hoses for the front garden!! I’m also a “challenged” gardener from NY & we can use all the help we can get!
Well well well
FINALLY a hose that is t heavy arhat you don’t have to drag around and swear at to wind it up!!!
I’m in
If only the link weren’t to Amazon. I’ve sworn Jeff Bezos off.
Maybe check your local garden center or hardware store?
Since I don’t shop at Amazon I’m used to looking elsewhere for things I need.
Just ordered it. I love my mop but I clean because I am forced to do so or face a depressingly dirty house. I am a gardener by choice – it is one of my favorite things to do along with knitting – so I am pretty excited about a hose that behaves itself!
Thanks so much for the link — just placed an order! Looking forward to hose heaven!
Pull out that thorn! I’m going to click on that affiliate link!
I’ve been using this kind of hose for years, but have found they’re usually good for only one season. And the do tend to kink more easily than the heavy old-fashioned green ones. I finally found one that lasts, Zero-G, even though it isn’t as lightweight as the others and doesn’t compress as much, it has remained reliable for 3 years so far.
For years, I detested rubber garden hoses – heavy, bulky, contrary things that they were, and I’m a gardener. Then my Spousal Unit (aka husband) came home with 2 Zero-G hoses, 100 feet each. We have front & back yards, lots of trees, 3 rose beds, & an assortment of perennials – all of which require watering. They go flat when empty, coil obediently without hassle, weigh about 5 pounds. Too much hose for an apartment, tho’. Happy Watering, Kay!
I have one too-life changing
I wish you would provide affiliate links to places other than Amazon. I would like to support you through an affiliate link, but I won’t buy from Amazon. I bought the hose somewhere else.
Still mourning mine, which exploded hilariously (definitely would have moved the needle on the Ann and Kay Laugh-O-Meter) after springing a pinhole leak. The theory is that this resulted from a ritualistic mating dance with a rose bush, so take care, lovers of thorny plants.
And not sure how I missed the amazing mop, but OCedar toughly sponges are another awesome product. They don’t goo up like other brands.
Thank you! Ordered and received! Works so well, highly visible bright orange, and best of all, my partner can use in spite of painful shoulder injury. (Mop not needed in my house, but hose is a winner!)
I have one of these. Love love love it!
Just put it in my cart! I have a similar one and love it. Kept meaning to buy second one, but every time I went to shop online got diverted to ……yarn shops.
Boy am I tired of wrangling heavy hoses. It’s in my cart. Thanks so much!
You are sooo right! I am ordering more for various places on my farm. I am tired of wrestling heavy, dirty hoses or finding someone has moved a hose or taken the nozzle. Gonna label these with my name-lol!
The thing is miles long. It is perfect, which I never knew I would rhapsodize over a hose before!