Dear Kay,
I have a houseful of knitters staying here with me for Stitches South, including you, as I hope you have realized by now. You are in Nashville, not New York. (It’s different here: remember, nobody walks anywhere. Just lie down, mash the Uber button in your phone, and somebody will show up to scrape you into a vehicle. Nashvillians are boneless chickens, basically. We can walk 15 feet to our cars, but that’s about it.)
I hope you’re having a good time up there in the Knitting Dorm. I feel a little like a Resident Advisor, keeping an eye on the lot of you and making sure nobody sneaks in boys. Nobody’s sneaking out, because everybody is zonked from the yarn fumes out at the Opryland Hotel—and by the disorienting experience of trying to get to the parking lot when day is done. Every moment in the atrium-rich environment of the Opryland Hotel tricks you into thinking you’re outside—until you look up, see the glass ceilings, and realize, I will never be outside again. It’s like some sort of Outward Bound exercise: you have a credit card and three Larabars. You must survive three days in the Opryland Hotel with no help from Opryland staffers.
As this weekend has unfolded, I’m concluding that there should be something called The College of Knitting, and I’m pretty sure I want to start it. We’ve got the curriculum set:
8:00 Coffee
8:05 Free Knit
10:30 Begin Talking about Lunch
12:30 Lunch with Knitting Simultaneously
2:30 Nap
4:30 Teatime with Knitting Simultaneously
5:00 Begin Talking About Dinner
5:10 Sherry Hour
7:30 Dinner That Somebody Else Made. With Knitting Simultaneously
9:30 After-dinner Knitting
10:30 Discussion Group: Female Topics
11:00 Final Bit of Knitting
12:00 Lights Out Unless Your Episode on Netflix Is Particularly Compelling
This curriculum obviously needs some beefing up—where’s the snack requirement, for one thing? But four years of this and I think we’d all become fairly good knitters.
Great Story Number 1: Socks Outta Alabama
I am the happy owner of two pairs of Zkano socks given to me for my birthday. One pair looks like this, and the other looks like this. They are uncommonly cheerful. I didn’t know a thing about them except that I loved them. Imagine the joy when I read this New York Times article that tells the story of Gina Locklear, the unhappy real estate agent in Fort Payne, Alabama, who decided at the age of 27 to make sustainable, awesome socks. We should all wear these socks, because they’re filled with a lot of goodwill and care and thought. Do I think that we can save the world by wearing socks made in Fort Payne, Alabama? Maybe not. But at least we can vote with our dollars.
Great Story Number 2: Spring Break Hall of Fame
In honor of everyone heading out to or returning from spring break, I share with you a family trip like no other, “Going Native.” Wigwam Village is where I want to found The College of Knitting. It’s going to be so great.
Love,
Ann
That itinerary makes me swoon! Sign me up. (Also, I’m kind of partial to the teepees).
I mean “syllabus”. (Not itinerary). It’s early. I’m the only one up. And after my oatmeal is done, I’m going to start knitting.
Please keep your temp residents AWAY from the yarn stash. I’ll help you “konmari” it later to make room for your new lot. You know, because I’m a good friend. ????
Perhaps, if there’s an old shed available on your knitting campus, nothing grand mind you, there could be a crocheting elective. Just to test the waters regarding demand for crochet by knitters.
May I apply right now as a Work/Study student at the college? My Study can be colorwork and my Work can be pouring the sherry. Experience counts. But I’ll bring a tent. Only a hurricane could make me want to sleep in a windowless concrete den. Yikes!
Loved Gina’s story about starting Zkano. Let me know when you want to go on a field trip to Fort Payne. Sounds like you are having a big time at Opryland. xo to you and Kay!
I would like to apply to your college, but I think I might need instruction on how to knit and eat at the same time in order to get in.
Sign me up ! I would pay major tuition to attend as long as only pull-on pants (a la yoga and sweat varieties) required. No zippers, no belts, please.
It took me literally 40 minutes of walking to find my way out of OpryDisneyLand World through an exit that landed me anywhere remotely near where I parked the car on Friday. I had much trouble understanding the “You Are Here” signs and saw no one who appeared to be working there I could ask for directions. I was beginning to think I would end up as one of the homeless people of the world, sleeping on one of the lovely park benches there when I finally discovered the tunnel leading to the door I needed, so I made it out alive. It was lovely seeing you both! PS – We are going with the Pottery Barn route because it can be accomplished without ever having to set foot in an actual store. Males!
What a coincidence — I, too, am in Nashville!!! Though not at Ann’s house.
We breezed into town Saturday afternoon, and for the next 4 hours I trolled the Market at Stitches South. What an experience! (it always is) I can’t begin to describe all the wonders I found there.
Dear Ann and Kay, I was so happy to meet you at your booth, and visit for a while. Dear Everybody Else, these two ladies are as delightful in-person and they are in-blog.
Actually, you should do this. So many would apply to attend! Cash cow! Benefit society! Doesn’t get any better than that.
7:30 Dinner That Somebody Else Made is my kind of curriculum! Sign me up. Not to mention that I, a sometime sock knitter, have just been enticed to buy non-handmade socks at Zkano. You two are enablers in one of the better senses of the word.
May we have RedNeck wine or burbon instead of sherry? I needed a bit of it last night to recover from my Stitches high… Life is good!
Just let me know when it’s time to enroll! 🙂
I’d like to enroll to your college, do you require an essay with the application? Or maybe just a swatch.
LOL. Great question!
I’ll be the Librarian! ❤️????????
Sign me up, I don’t care how much tuition costs. But, a warning, I’m bringing a nice red to the Sherry Hour.
I don’t know about 4 years of this at my age (ye Gods, this is the first time I’ve used that phrase!), but 2 weeks sounds heavenly! Who am I kidding, this curriculum is my retirement plan! The Wigwams are great! We stayed there one spring break because as The Best Mom in the World, I wanted my kids to be able to say they had slept in a wigwam. They do have windows, bathrooms, & a microwave. Just what every dorm room needs!
Sign me up!!
sign me up. At the very least it could be an elder hostel as we travel from knitting event to knitting event. {OMG I think I might be on to something here}
I need a post card that says ” I wish I was there!”, I’m so jealous!
And enrollment is when?! 🙂
My friend and I have been at knitting college this weekend at Yarn Fest in Loveland, Colorado. You will have to try it some year. Many talented knitters and crocheters and spinners and weavers!! Taking over the world!!
I’m in – Knitting College, the wigwams, dinner fixed by someone else while we knit (I’ll pay extra for that). Just say when!
How to apply for early admission to the CoK? I’m in!!!!!
Will my essay be enough to get me in? I’m darn good at essays. I only have 1 AP class on my transcript though because I was having a actual fun in high school. Fingers crossed here. As for those perfect socks,,,,my guys all got then in their Christmas stockings two years ago and they are still wonderful. I bought myself their knee socks…so GREAT!
In the immortal words of Liz Lemon, “I want to go to there,” with there being the college of knitting. Time to make this happen!
Sustainable docks? Made in USA? Cheaper than a skein of sock yarn? No second sock-itis? I’m in!
Sign me up for College of Knitting. Junior Year Abroad in Iceland? Or Australia? Maybe a semester in each? Where do I enroll and send my tuition?
Uh, sustainable *socks*. Tho sustainable docks is something to strive for in a port city like Houston.
That curriculum works for me. Perhaps there could just be an ongoing 24-7 snack table, kept full by knitting elves.
When will the COK swag be available for purchase? I am partial to heavy cotton hoodies with tasteful decal on front. Class of 2020.
I thought, hey, I will support sustainable clothing! And I need new socks! But then….. so sad that most of the anklet and crew socks catalog is “out of stock”. Therefore, no socks for me, and no new customer for them. The growing pains of a small business!
I’m guessing that a giant New York Times profile would sideswipe pretty much any small business–I bet she’s scrambling to fill the demand.
I’m in. Can we have a massage too? that should be a daily part of our curriculum
Me, too! Will there be chocolate?
I’m finalizing my admissions essay right now. Let me know where I should send it.
The Zkano socks have an interesting heel construction.
Your CoK could be huuuuuuge!
Woo Hoo….I’ve been to the Wigwam Village way way back in he day before interstates. I loved the NYT story about the socks, too.
only you will entice me to buy nonrunning nonhandmade socks! and i loved that story too and forgot to make a todo to buy the socks – you saved me.
college – sign me up too… i am a whiz at IT and can do all the hookups for the many tvs and monitors and wireless extenders, routers, etc…
oh no sock supply is dwindling. all the colors combos i wanted are gone!
Where do I send my tuition money? I’ll pay a premium if I don’t have to take the SATs again! I can’t imagine a more perfect place to spend 4 or 5 or 6 years. I hear some colleges have ‘super seniors’ those who are on year 5 or greater and they still haven’t completed all requirements….
I have never really wanted to return to college. Well, now I can say never say never. I especially want that tea time knitting, leading straight into Sherry Hour. I love a proper English tea.
I’d better go study for my KAT (Knitting Aptitude Test ). I understand there’s a section on MDK trivia…
LoveDiane
The College of Knitting sounds positively dreamy!
I would come to knitting college but I need a real bed in a room with A/C and a bathroom. Sign me up.
I have stayed at Wigwam Village in Cave City! Because I, too, aspire to be the Best Mom Ever. Mammoth Cave, the Science Center in Louisville, fun at Mummi’s house (Finnish for grandmother)…. I do what I can. And I’m looking forward to tea time and sherry hour. I’m in.
How about a COK elective of Cookies and Milk – and knitting. Since I seem to have already gained a doctorate in stash acquisition, might I suggest that we have an option for renting a wigwam for stash storage?
Ann, hysterical. You and Kay are the best writers! I’m in NC, maybe I can make Stitches South next time. Take good care of the campers!
I love the knitting college idea. What’s wrong with another degree? I drove up from Huntsville, where I am on business travel, to Nashville today. I went to Stitches and bought a cool yarn kit for the Albers Cowl. Then I walked the Gaylord conference center, took the Grand Old Opry tour, went downtown to the Ryman and walked around that area. It was great. I wouldn’t have gone if I hadn’t known about Stitches South from reading about it right here on your blog. Thanks!!
Love your writing, your ideas, your books, your blog, your knitting, and on and on. Such fun!
The Zkano socks are going like hotcakes! Nearly all the striped crew socks are sold out! 🙂
I really thought it was a noun proposal. Like, “Pride of lions” “Gaggle of geese” “Murder of crows” “Gang of bikers” “College of Knitters”
Maybe both.