Dear Kay,
Here, for your Saturday edification, is “The M Word,” a post from about a decade ago.
I have to laugh. In this post, I lost my composure over being called middle aged—back when I was 43. Ah, youth!
The post does include a quote from Paul Newman that I love even more, ten years later:
“I’m not vain and insecure like many of my fellow actors and actresses. Quite frankly, I like the way I look. I’m not jumping on the Hollywood bandwagon and turning the clock back with a facelift. So what if my face is falling apart? I don’t give a damn. Everyone thinks they can stay pretty forever, but some come out of Beverly Hills surgeries looking scary to me. Everyone in Tinseltown is getting pinched, lifted and pulled. For many, it’s become a sick obsession. They lose some of their soul when they go under the knife and end up looking body-snatched.”
I asked my son David, now 20, if he thinks I’m middle aged now. His reply: “Agh! I guess by definition . . . I do think you are!! Sorry ma!!!”
At this point, I am wildly grateful to be the age I am—every day is a gift. But surely we can come up with something better than middle aged. Help!
Love,
Ann
PS We posted this video yesterday on Facebook. I share it here because it is a brief but spectacular visit with Flossie Lewis, age 91.
I seem to have stopped getting these in my email box, two days now and I saw someone else in the comments yesterday had also not gotten hers. I will resubscribe but I’m letting you know in case there is a fix needed for it. We all enjoy following you and Kay and I loved the video which I saw on FB yesterday.
Add me to the list of people who’s email notifications disappeared this week.
Me too I thought you’d taken a long break until I went to the website. Since Thursday for me.
Me too! I reapplied!
Hello! So sorry you’re not getting notifications–we moved our server to a new host on Thursday, and we’re investigating why the notifications have stopped going out. Thank you for letting us know!
Now that you mention it, my email notification has stopped. I get it on 2 accounts, and neither is receiving MDK. Love the posts and go to the site every day!
Me, too! No notifications. the first thing I thought was, “Oh no, those Modern Daily ladies are going AWOL again!” Glad to see that it isn’t true.
Thanks, Cathy and Sheila–grateful to have you coming to hang out here.
Ditto about email notifications having apparently stopped. Perhaps the “notification mechanism” needed a vacation from working daily with no down time. Perhaps it, too, is in its own version of “mid century modern”. According to the lady in the video, my sounding cranky is to be expected at this advanced age. She made me cry (but not in a good way).
A group of us have gathered regularly for what we call Women’s Weekend. This has been going on for 35+ years. Now that we are in our 60’s, I’m going to suggest we call our gatherings Wise Women Weekends.
I had someone describe middle age to me this way. If you live to be 90 (average)….ages 0-30= young age, 31-60= MIDDLE AGE, 61-90= old age.
Hmmmmm……
Don’t mind “middle aged.” It’s “crone” I’m dreading. I stopped receiving email alerts of new posts. Did you all just decide you were tired of me?
I’m actually looking forward to crone – I can finally say what I’m thinking! Of course, i wouldn’t want people to be shocked by the sudden change, so I’m warming up now.
Right on!
11 year old David is SO BUSTED.
I, too, have stopped getting notifications of posts.
I have been calling myself middle-aged for a while, but there’s nothing beyond that, but “old.” I don’t have a paying job so I can’t call myself retired. We’ll have to stay middle-aged for a while, then “crone” it is!
I hope no one else has a resident idiot around to tell you helpful things like how you are past middle aged now, and that your best years are behind you. I’m 59 now
but he started mouthing such nonsense at least 15 years ago.
When I turned 40 my mother told me I was approaching middle age. I told her she was dragging it behind her. She didn’t think it was funny but my father did.
Flossie is fabulous! I need to adopt her attitude NOW!
Comment
Comment
Oh, I love “crone!” I plan to be the most bomb crone ever. Like, next year.
THIS year, still hewing to Flossie’s advice: “Struggle to keep yourself neat and clean and fashionable.” That is effort enough for the day, many days.
Have been missing my email notifications, too. I shall sign up again.
I believe that Woody Allen is the source of the quotation, “You cannot stay young forever, but you can remain immature almost indefinitely.” It’s what I respond to effusive comments on how young I look at 71. I look my age, folks: 71. Any good stuff results from having chosen the right parents. Flossie has the right take on aging, including accepting and shrugging off the downsides while forging ahead with style. Being a knitter doesn’t hurt, either.
Exactly! I”m ten years younger than the ever-gorgeous Gloria Steinem. I turned 40 the year she turned 50, much to the attention of the press. At a press conference in acknowledgement of turning 50, she was asked to what did she attribute her youthful looks… Her reply was “Look, this is what fifty looks like. Women have been lying about their age for so long that we’ve completely lost touch with what a person looks like at their real age. I’m fifty, and I look fifty.”
People often tell me how young I look (now at 72), and I always quote Gloria Steinem to them. I feel no need to lie about my age, get my hair colored, have a face lift, or anything else to make me look younger. I’m proud of every scar and line — all of them have a story to tell.
A friend told me when I hit menopause that I was now “crone-a-licious”
I love it! Maybe I could do “crone-a-licious.”
Love the video and your thoughts on middle age. I have never received notifications, despite signing up multiple times. But MDK is my first morning website visit, so I don’t need it. Y’all start my day off right, and I so appreciate your continued work.
Glad to hear that I’m not alone in getting email updates. I think I need to adopt Flossie’s attitude toward aging, especially about enjoying new relationships.
I’m not getting emails either. Must check my filters.
At 67 I have to accept middle age because to quote my sister “How old do you intend to get?”. Mature, maybe not.
Comment
Comment
What a beautiful voice and diction Flossie has. Love listening to her.
And regarding the emails and/or newsletters, I have signed up at least six times and never gotten one.
My dad is 85, and he has told me that the worst part of growing old isn’t your body breaking down—it is how much you miss everybody. His mother died when he was eight years old, and he was raised by a community of grandparents, aunts, and uncles. They are all gone now, along with many of his friends.
I enjoyed Flossie’s shot at virality, but I wonder what she meant at about 2 minutes in, when she said, “and that thing which is the hardest to admit is that character doesn’t have to go.” Why would that be hard to admit? Thoughts, anyone?
Quinn, I think that she was referring to how a person might become “cranky” because of how we react to changes that aging can bring to our bodies. Outwardly, we no longer have the bloom of youth. Our skin becomes loose, we lose teeth, etc. Internally, we lose muscle mass and bone density, experience changes in vision and so forth. For all these reasons, we can become “cranky” and justify to ourselves that we have good reason. However, really, inside, our character does not change. We are who we are, but too often we have defined ourselves mostly by our appearance. I think she is saying that when all of that changes we are finally faced with the challenge of being happy with who we are, not how we look. This is a difficult thing for many of us do to achieve.
Look at the crone. Some interpretations are like thin, old, ugly, mean looking. I think there is room in there, though, for the wise woman archetype. The one whose years have brought her wisdom, self confidence. She is grounded in who she is, and it does not depend on if her hair is frizzy because of the humidity or if she gained five pounds over the winter. She can choose to become more of who she is, really like herself ( her “character “). I guess it is about self acceptance and not using body changes as a reason to still be down on oneself.
Boo hoo is what I said when I stopped getting the daily email updates from you! Thanks for the tip on re-signing up for it. Hope that works and that your new server works smoothly.
Btw, I was more self conscious when I was a young adult with an enviable body (blessing of good genes), but am so much more at ease with myself now in my late 40s. Don’t know if it was just life experiences or motherhood or Oprah that helped my change, but I like the older, “new” me. Just wish I could have imparted some wisdom to that more youthful version of me. 😉
My mother used to say that “Growing old is a privilege denied to many.” Or, as the Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt puts it, “Age doesn’t matter! You could die at any time!”
At any rate, I look forward to being middle aged (I’m turning 30 in July). I feel like I’ve already been middle aged for a few years now
Ripe. 🙂
Add me to those who have stopped getting your email notifications. I’ll resubscribe right away.
Flossie Lewis is just delightful. Thanks for sharing the link to her interview. We should all grow older with such verve.
Someone close to me is always bemoaning the fact that she is no longer young. It’s tiresome! I intend to never feel bad about my age, and to age as gracefully as I can. I enjoyed Flossie’s video, and will try to remember her words of wisdom. Thanks for posting it!
I haven’t been getting emails either? Hmmm. Can’t wait for your new site. I REALLY hope pinch and zoom is available!!! Happy Mothers Day!! Rainbow love for everyone.
Comment
Comment
Ann, I like to think of myself as “seasoned” or “vintage” has a better ring than middle age. I guess in today’s standards I would be considered “elderly” which cough cough I don’t care for!
Like Flossie Lewis said ” Age is a state of mind”!
Have a great week!
Comment
I stopped receiving email notices, too:(.
Re-upping now!
Comment
Hello!
I am resubscribing as I said earlier that notifications hadn’t come but I didn’t resubscribe.
Thanks for the blog and all the comments. I do miss them when they aren’t in my inbox!
Comment
Comment