Beyond Knitting
Self-Care: Interior Refresh
Springtime in the northern hemisphere and thoughts turn to…romance? Unless you’re thinking about spring cleaning, which is also nature’s way. The clocks have changed and it’s time to get a grip!
(Southern neighbors: if you are heading into winter, bookmark and I’ll meet you back here six months.)
Now I am guessing you have experience with spring cleaning—and when I say “clean,” I mean “tidy” or “declutter” because I hope no one wants to talk about soot removal. And the basics of decluttering have been treated elsewhere. (See: everywhere.)
Instead, I will tell you about three helpful things I’ve learned as I face my own startlingly bright Monday morning of the soul a.k.a. moving. And not just moving, I’m downsizing. Moreover I did not choose this move for myself. But I’ve come to relish the opportunity, as life-coachy as I’m afraid that sounds.
Gretchen Rubin, in Outer Order, Inner Calm (a very different approach from Marie Kondo’s, not a duplication of work) suggests that you use the opportunity of moving to perform a major purge of possessions. Not an innovation in-and-of itself. But she then says, and if you’re NOT moving, what if you pretend?
Excellent idea Gretchen!
I am in a similar mode: moving, while also pretending I’m pretending to move as a Gretchen Rubin exercise. The first lesson is this: there’s only so much juice you can squeeze from a pretend lemon. Tell you what: you get you some real lemons, and you can make yourself some real work-of-art lemonade. I’ve dropped my resistance.
Now of course, we’ve all moved, whether we wanted to or not, so we all know that it’s impossible to say with 100% confidence what will and won’t fit in your new place (and your new life!). You might purge something that you would have had room for. You might keep a dozen things that you should have dumped while you had the chance.
That brings us to Lesson no. 2: you will have regrets! Mistakes, if I may use the presidential passive form, will be made.
And it’s OK. I’ve been through many decluttering cycles and I have regrets, but very few are bitter. We are, after all, talking about things—things being very, very plentiful in our world and thus replaceable. If you discover, as I have, that some things really do need to be reacquired? No shame, no blame. Just go ahead do it!
The third learning came to me spontaneously, as I sifted (with my sister’s generous help) through roomfuls of beautiful objets: I am no longer the person who assembled these collections. I am no longer the young person who couldn’t have pretty things, only practical things, and so turned into someone who, let’s be real, acquired so many lovely things that some never had even a chance to be used.
This is what I realized: I no longer wish to be a collector. My collector era was delightful, and is behind me. I need fewer things and probably fewer rooms to put them in.
Your mileage will vary, of course! No one who’s not moving needs to do a drastic downsize.
If you’re planning your own spring refresh, what are your intentions? Where will you focus? What are your hopes for yourself and your home this spring? Please do let us all know in the comments.
Related:
Equinoctial Self-care: Everything Must Go!
Self-care on Repeat: The Art of Organizing
Image credit: Untitled (Woman with Two Dogs and Two Children Moving Camp), Roan Eagle, c. 1890, Minneapolis Institute of Art. Used with permission.
Decluttering my phone and preserving what little sanity I have left…..deleting Facebook from my phone. Apparently I have zero self control re doom scrolling. Bye Fb
Me, too.
Thank you for this article! Very timely for me – I am moving and downsizing and also cannot take many of the beautiful things I collected over my lifetime. What is helping me cope with this sense of loss is selling many things via ebay, online local marketplaces and yard sales. I put the proceeds into a separate savings account and as I see the funds accumulate, I feel less of the sense of loss and now have some cash to buy something nice for my new place. I allow myself to keep one thing from each collection to display in the new place. In addition, I have a photo of everything I’ve sold, so I can continue to look at and enjoy them digitally. As a knitter with a large stash, I donated much yarn to our local Girl Scouts and local knitting groups who were knitting items for charity. PS I sold several sets of knitting needles on ebay and loved getting notes from the recipients on how grateful they are have these lovelies!
With my husband currently in hospital and now rehab this is our future in a sentence. Waited too long to realize this thing called downsizing is now staring us in the face. Not impossible to do, but way overdue. Age and health are a factor that can’t be denied and that is what we are facing NOW. God will see us through with the help of prayers, determination, and a hopeful future on the other side.
Wishing your husband a quick and total recovery. And prayers for your own sense of peace.
We’ve cared for all 4 parents, and my husband has undergone 3 major surgeries. Asking for heavenly assistance helps along the way.
Completely understood. I have been mentally ready to downsize for several years, but DH “needs” the yard & workshop for mental health. He is beginning to realize his physical abilities, at 83, are failing. I suspect he will resist until we are in your position.
I hope your husband has a speedy recovery! My husband (78) and I have been looking at downsizing too, and reading your post has put more urgency to the decision. Sending prayers to you both……
I have had to move about every 7-8 years for work and it has given me the opportunity to purge periodically. I have learned in the process to not hold onto things emotionally. The first time was the hardest and then each time after, you get more and more ruthless with what you are willing to let go. One time I moved across country, I literally only kept my clothing, my bed, my yarn, my dog and just a handful of other things. Only occasionally do I think of something I wished I still had like some unique tool that did something JUST right.
This sounds right up my alley – I’m planning to move in a few years, but I’ve been in the same house 35+ years, so I’ve got a lot of purging to do.
I’m not moving but have had strong urges to organize and get rid of a few things. Choosing one area like a shelf, or working for 15 minutes at a time works for me, then I’m not overwhelmed. I found things I didn’t know were there and no longer need anyway. I gave away my mineral and rock collections to friends who are thrilled to have them. Having more empty, cleaner space feels really good.
Really love this moving camp art!
I keep telling myself that regrets are easier to carry than Things, anyway. Also, my elder daughter (at 44 y/o) has decided to learn to knit! Yay! I am most happily sharing my stash with her, a good downsizing of sorts. And now I don’t feel like I wasted my inheritance.
I have so. much. knitting paraphernalia: books, yarn, etc. I’ve changed in what I want to make and it’s time to let go. Between now and Shakerag, I plan to pack up my duplicate books and nice yarn I’ll never knit and tote it to the Swap Table.
This is very timely. I am on a 3 day purge / clean up as we prepare for guests this spring and an acknowledgement that I no longer need to keep all the implements of previously loved hobbies (scrapbooking, stamping, card making.) Knitting travels well, doesn’t require a large table and thankfully no glitter is involved.
I might cross stitch *I’m no longer a collector.* though. I have been given so many sheep stuffies, paperweights, mugs, plates, placemats, and figurines over the years. I will keep the Christmas tree ornaments but most are going in the donation box.
P.S. Collecting yarn does not count, as it eventually turns into clothing and never gathers dust.
Pretending I am moving might be easier than Swedish Death Cleaning, although that is motivating. When my father, the ultimate pack rat, was alive, each time I visited him I would come home and purge. Play move sounds better!
Nibbling, rather than full-on downsizing as DH and I accept the reality that we have three to five (DH estimate) or one to three (my estimate) years before downsizing from the family home after 51 years of accumulating STUFF and embarking on apartment living. Scary. Very scary!
My husband and I moved and downsized in late 2023. Finding new homes for my things took time and was painful. I gave my mid-century modern desk to a friend’s granddaughter and she loves it. A leather recliner was claimed by a friend and recent immigrant who needed it. And on and on.
Once we arrived at our new, very small home I found I still had too much and donated or sold more stuff. Now that a little time has gone by, I honestly don’t miss all my old things. It’s freeing in a way. I’m more relaxed and enjoying my new life more than I ever imagined. Less is truly more.
I’m de-stashing! Also turning off all notifications from news organizations.
I have been approaching this a little at a time. I read the book on Swedish Death Cleaning and it really resonated with me. I got rid of bags of fabric and yarn that I still have twinges of regret over, but not that much. I remember when we moved my parents to assisted living, we cleaned out their double-wide trailer. We got rid of 5 truckloads after we saved what they wanted and all of us took what we wanted. It was eye-opening. I don’t want my children to have to sort through so much stuff. And after 50 years of marriage, there is a LOT of stuff.
We did move four years ago, and downsized 30 years worth of stuff. There was a very large, walk-in dumpster involved. It was liberating, but also difficult. But after four years, there is more declutterring to be done. Some shelves have gone up. Drawers have been emptied, things reconfigured. There is much to be done, but we’ll see how much actually gets taken care of. Our son and daughter-in-law have nowhere to store anything, so there’s that…we have a dumpster that has taken up permanent residence.
I have downsized in stages. In 2021 we moved from a house we lived in for 40 years. You can imagine what that was like. After my husband’s death I downsized again and had a small house full of stuff to dispose of. Now I’m in an apartment and still have too much.
Last spring my son was coming to visit and his wife was not coming. Before he left home she said “I wonder what your mom will try to give you this time”.
We are planning a move later this year and as an attempt to get the house ready for sale are cleaning things out. I started this last year before retiring, cleaning out closets, going through paperwork and recycling books. I pretend I have to pack up a room, and if I can imagine doing that, then I feel it’s manageable. Kitchen yes. Master bedroom closet yes. Basement—no. I tackle a new area every week…rewarding myself with some knitting time.
I needed this right now…hadn’t heard about the Rubin book and it looks like a helpful read. We’re not minimalists (DH doesn’t like to get rid of anything and my craft room is overflowing) but we’ve cleaned out a lot of things through the years and were organized. Then my parents passed away and my sister and I have spent several years going through their estate – donations, consignment, giving things to other family members, etc. I’m still struggling with paperwork I have to keep for a while and many boxes of items that are sentimental to me but not my sister. At some point soon, DH and I need to do some repairs and remodeling at our house and trying to figure out what to keep and what to let go of, so there is less stuff to move around, has become very overwhelming.
Thank you Max! I wish you G-D speed and lite breezes on your journey of downsizing. My last major move in 1998 made me realize that the periodic cleaning out of closets needs to be done with the mind set of moving. I would empty a closet and then the next time I looked to make sure I had REALLY emptied the closet, I would find some small overlooked thing still there! I swore that the closets had babies in the night while I was asleep! So I have kept up that mind set but in spite of that I still manage to populate my closets with things! Soon I will ‘pretend’ to be moving and donate/move on to my little hearts content so there is room for my closets to repopulate!
Thank you Max, a great article. My DH and I needed to address this subject some time ago after a move to another state, downsizing to our new home and my voluntary retirement. As a consequence I took on a mantra of ‘people are more important than things’. This was pretty successful. . . except where fabric and wool are concerned. I have come to accept this state of being. I gift those things I’m able to let go of and it makes me happy to be able to help another person. Everything in its own time.
My husband and I were thinking about downsizing and building a smaller home, but decided against it. When beginning to declutter my husband was in complete shock when I went through my yarn stash. I donated over 21 pounds of yarn. We calculated that at 3.5 ounces per skein that would be over 140 skeins of yarn! I have to admit that I have become a “yarn snob”. Most of the donated yarn was acrylic or an acrylic blend which I purchased when in the early years of my knitting experience. It seems that I have developed a “taste” for Merino, silk blends, Pima cotton, hand dyed wools, etc. (I did keep those.) Also, all the silver plate serve ware that I have had for many years was also donated. We know that our son doesn’t want anything unless it is of historical or family value. Guess I will have to digitize the rest of the many photos and slides!
We flirted with downsizing and moving to a condo, but couldn’t find one that suited us. So we’re hoping to age in place in our lovely home.
I had a grand day last week, purging the stash of yarn that I’ll never knit. Someone else will get to knit it! Nice stuff. Now my yarn has room to breathe, and to let me know what it wants to be.
Closets next? But today I found myself wearing a decades old skirt and sweater. Timeless.
Hit my current note! Purging as a way of refreshing and renewing is exactly what I noted in my Lenten journal this morning.
Downsizing, yes. Moving, hopefully no. The recent death of my husband has made it possible for me to remove the Dale Earnhardt shrine from the master bedroom and the rest of NASCAR from the living room. While making arrangements for my son to sell those collections on EBay, I got word that some of the grandkids in the NE part of the state were asking about the NASCAR stuff. So I am forced to shift gears, pun intended, and let them check it out at his inurnment in May. Good thing for them that I’m not moving!
My sister has supplied the energy and muscle to get things done while I recover from a back injury suffered while helping my husband eight days before he died. Guess he wanted to make sure I didn’t forget him.
I could continue to ramble on but that is not contributing to the downsizing or getting my sweater knit.
I downsize constantly! Sold my house in 2021 and moved to an apartment, and then in 2023 I moved from New York to Florida. Two large moves, two large purges! Gave stuff away, donated stuff to charity, sold some stuff. Very freeing. Now that I’m in my “forever” home, I continue to downsize, keeping only what I actually need or truly love. Before moving south, I went through my huge collection of knitted items and donated a lot of it to a local charity before I moved (don’t need heavy wool stuff in tropical Florida!). Received some very nice thank you notes from the recipients. Made me feel good knowing my knits were appreciated and actually worn!
I continually go through my massive yarn stash and donate or sell what I know I’ll never use. Having less is very freeing, and someone else gets to enjoy it.
Thank you. A more timely message I could not have found. I am moving and downsizing. Hearing that regrets are inevitable is very freeing. When I see something I feel a twinge about leaving behind I simple say “Thank you for your service” and let it go.