Fun
Unfamiliar Fishes and Buttermilk Waffles
For years and years and years, both my husband and I worked in fields where the winter holidays were our busiest times. Time off was not a possibility.
Our college-era Thanksgivings were spend loading-in (which is theater-speak for unloading truck after truck and unpacking crate after crate) for an annual production of The Nutcracker. We never made it home for turkey and trimmings because we’d need to be at work by 6 a.m. Friday and the weather around Erie, PA, is unpredictable at best.
When we moved to Austin after college—him for grad school, me because I couldn’t really think of anything else to do—he would have paying theatre gigs the weeks around Christmas. I worked retail, mostly, and December was just as bananas at the Mall.
Our families were 2,000 miles away and we were far too broke to visit. Besides, who had time?
Over the years, we developed our own takes on the traditions our families of origin held. He roasts almonds and insists on a live tree, which were harder to find in Texas during the early ’90s than you might think.
My must-have was seven kinds of fish on Christmas Eve.
It’s a thing some Italians do—and my father’s side of the family would do it up big. After the fishes, presents would be opened. Then most of the assembled would go to Mass, then come back and have a whole other meal at midnight. We usually bounced after the gifts.
The fishes varied from year to year but you could count on salt cod and squid. The squid would be stewed in a red sauce, their bodies stuffed with some kind of bread-y filling and sewn closed with thick black thread, which my uncles would pull out before eating and leave on the rims of their plates.
(Seafood-related: I am in love with Karla Courtney‘s whole sealife vibe. Her Instagram is a cavalcade of delights.)
As a kid, I stuck to buttered penne. I’d been scarred by a well-meaning aunt ladling some red sauce on my noodles and depositing several clusters of disembodied tentacles there, too. I spent the next decade giving any pot of sauce the side-eye.
My appetite for seafood was low even before that. I enjoy the occasional crab. The year with langoustine was memorable—but that could have been because they were swimming in gallons of butter. But I still don’t care for fish, lobsters, scallops. I’ll eat ’em to be polite but would prefer not to.
Our first Christmas Eve in Texas, so far from my family, I decided we needed to do 3.5 kinds of fish because I’m only half Italian. We rounded down to 3 because you cannot have fractional fish.
My spouse made fried catfish and shrimp cocktail. I made crab cakes. And, thus, our own take on the tradition was born. We’re still at it 30+ years later.
This year, inspired by a piece in The New York Times, I ordered tinned fish for our feast. I’ll make a salad and some pasta, so even if these fishes aren’t as yummy as we’d like, we’ll have other options. And I’m totally keeping a couple of the boxes because they are delightful.
After dinner, I’ll set up for our Christmas Day tradition: Felonious Waffles.
(Technically, they should be Misdemeanor Waffles but felonious has a better ring to it.)
That first year in Texas, I worked in a Crate and Barrel knockoff, which means I know the best ways to clean glassware (vinegar and water!) and high-end frying pans (Bar Keepers Friend!). I also learned what it looked like when a business was about to go belly up.
One big sign was that our paychecks started bouncing. When the management went radio silent, we decided to take our wages in merchandise.
No, I don’t recommend this. Yes, I am aware of the legalities. The statute of limitations must have expired by now.
And, no. I never did get paid for my work in November and December that year. By January, the storefront was padlocked by the state tax office. Now I can’t even find record of it existing.
I made off with a waffle maker a few days before Christmas. On the morning of the 25th, I made my first-ever batch of waffles in said waffle maker. I did the same the next year and the next. Now, three decades and a couple of waffle makers later, it wouldn’t be Christmas without ’em.
After the fishes, I set up for overnight waffles, measuring out dry goods and separating eggs. My husband preps the coffee maker, which was crucial when our kids were small.
This year, our older kid won’t be coming home for fishes or waffles because she has her first big girl job. She’s working at a theatre in Philly and they have shows this week.
We’ll miss her like mad, mind, but wonder what traditions she’ll find.
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Ahhh Adrienne… Cara Adrienne!
More than once, upon reading one of your MDK contributions, I’ve mused briefly to myself that “you & I must be kindred souls, sisters of different mothers, something like that…” and then quickly moved on.
Knitting? Check.
A stint in small town politics? Check.
Fond of writing? Check.
Dabbles in drama? Check.
Distanced from childhood family at holidays? Check.
However, our different mothers, mia sorella cara, gifted me a LOVE for most things seafood. I do agree though about the surprise identification of… parts… on the plate set before me. On a date in Italy, the gentleman seated opposite from me took the opportunity to order for me at a lovely little cafe in coastal Pisa. The plate of mixed Frutta di Mare set before me, beautifully breaded & golden brown, absolutely had eyes…
and tentacles…
I did my best to be polite.
I did better with Frutta di Mare than I did with Tripa…
Bachelors degree in biology is not always a beneficial thing to have…
Enough said!
My daughter spent some time in Spain and reports that, when ordering paella, one must specify “No ojos” if you prefer not to have your dinner arrive looking up at you!
Very sweet. A nice little gift when it’s 2:30 am on the morning of Christmas Eve and I can’t sleep. The hoards of grandkids will be arriving in a few hours begging for cookies, just to open one present because it’s almost Christmas, and for more screen time. Merry Christmas all ya’ll.
All ya’ll!
I love this! What a great tradition and what a fabulous and enjoyable read. Happy Holidays!
Guessing you didn’t choose the lobster at our wedding? Much love to you both on this auspicious day of new and old traditions!
Scott was more than happy to take care of the lobster for me. He’s a giver.
Love to you and N!
I’m from Texas and am about the same age. I’m curious which no-longer-existing store you worked for.
It was one market place (all lowercase) at Highland Mall in Austin. They also had a storefront in the Barton Springs Mall, iirc, and were sent a cease and desist from actual Crate and Barrel by using their fonts, marimekko fabric, everything.
Wild times.
My best friend growing up was also half-Italian catholic. The night of seven fishes is still my favorite meal. I married a catholic whose mom hated seafood so alas we had to cobble together our own. Often cioppino but I love that stuffed calamari!
Charming!
Creating our own traditions seemed like a huge burden after I married late in life and had a baby soon after. It no longer made sense to travel to far away family, where we could comfortably participate in to the company and long time rituals. We’ve stumbled our way to our own traditions—Mass on Christmas Eve, and Clementine Cake and bagels and lox for breakfast on Christmas morning. This year I’m making homemade clam chowder for Christmas Eve dinner—that might become a new part of our traditions.
Here’s a Clementine cake recipe: https://cooking.nytimes.com/recipes/1016184-clementine-cake?unlocked_article_code=1.j04.ZQBq.BfP_HO1Ocgr8&smid=ck-recipe-iOS-share
THANKS!
Buon Natale! My Venetian mother makes baccalà every Christmas Eve (I would attach a picture of the cod soaking if I wanted to ruin your appetite—not pretty until she works her magic on it). We add various dishes to make up 7 (one ambitious year featuring uni—don’t ask—we made it to 12). Cocquilles Saint-Jacques are bringing the wow factor tonight. Merry Christmas!
Ah, the notorious seven fishes!
Northern Italian extraction here, but they all lived in CT and instilled a love of all things fish and seafood in their grandchildren. I continued this by convincing our boys that (despite what the midwesterners in MI insisted) fish do not come in breaded squares and you can indeed eat things with tentacles.
So, we’ll have some coho salmon tonight, maybe some smoked mussels (from one of those cute cans), and some shrimp (after all, I’m only 1/4 Italian). I’m saving the octopus for New Year’s Day, as I’ll hopefully be able to grill it outside!
Thanks for reminding me that traditions are mutable and ever-changing. We tweak the old ones, make new ones, and enjoy all of them.
I love seafood; unfortunately am limited to no crab or lobster as a result of a shellfish allergy.
I was delightfully surprised to find my neighborhood grocery had fresh smelt. Looking forward to crispy fried smelt as an appetizer to the rib roast!
Merry Christmas to all!
wow, you lucky girl, I haven’t seen smelt in ages, and love it.
“You cannot have fractional fish”
Very poignant post.
Just thank you. Thoroughly enjoyed your story. Merry Christmas.
*heart emoji*
You are welcome.
At my grandfather’s house in Queens, a giant behemoth of a house, my 18 aunts and uncles and too many cousins to count, always assembled for Christmas Eve dinner when I was a child. I loved the lobster and shrimp, never once ate the snails or anything else. As an adult, Christmas Eve dinner never had seven fishes, at most five, sometimes one. This year it’s one! BUT, we have a giant Pandora, which I think could be the main course!
One holiday season in 1967 when my dad was transferred to the plains if Colorado, there was not a Christmas tree to be found. My mother brought home and decorated a tumbleweed. No lights but lots of tinsel. I was fairly young but now I think it was a passive – aggressive message to my dad.
So much fun to read about other families traditions! I would not have eaten some of those fishes either. I am not Italian at all (French on my father’s side) but we are having shrimp for dinner tonight. Merry Christmas!
Great essay!
Connected with experiences! Young, poor, driven, far from home with kids! Now we are old, driven but much slower. Far from home, with melding of traditions with our ohana. Thanks Diane
What a great story! This is how traditions get started, bits of this and bits of that and suddenly you’re making your own! ❤️
Must see: The Bear, season two episode six – The Fishes. That was the first I learned about this tradition AND that Jamie Lee Curtis is an absolutely brilliant actor. Love your writing, thanks for a sweet holiday tome!
Growing in Brooklyn, my neighbors did the 7 fishes but I was never enjoyed it
However, I am part Norwegian and I make 7 different cookies. Now, with other people in my family also baking I only make 4-5 types every year. I always try a new recipe every year. Some get made again and other recipes are voted down.
Tamales tonight for us, and setting up the popsicle-stick crèche my daughter made when she was five. And of course the holiday tradition of rushing to finish the last knitted gift…
Love the story — wondered what Felonious Waffles were – glad I kept reading. Shared the waffle story with Al. Reading it aloud with appropriate enunciation makes for a truly wonderful story. We have spent many holidays far from our families and thus developed our own traditions. Now our family is scattered and we are developing new traditions as we are becoming semi nomadic ourselves. As we say ‘Merry Christmas!’
My grandparents on my father’s side emigrated from Sansevero in Apulia during the first decade of the 1900’s, as many other Italians did at that time. We celebrated Christmas Eve with them every year and it was heaven for me. My grandmother was a superb cook and made the feast of seven fishes with such skill and passion. Although I loved even the most unusual of dishes, my younger by three years sister hated everything from the sea except canned tuna. My mother was allergic to shrimp, so my grandmother made a special sauce for her. The feast started with fried smelts, one of my favorite dishes. We also had a cold seafood appetizer with marinated octopus as the star. Stuffed squid was always in the sauce along with many other kinds of shellfish available in Massachusetts. Grandma always made her own pasta and on Christmas Eve it was always orrchietti, little domed shapes that look more like hats than ears, laid out on a white sheet drying on her bed before cooking and then dressed with sauce. We always had a fresh fruit and nut course before moving on to dessert. The pastries she made were divine! My sister and I continue the tradition of making these and the Lebanese pastries from our mother’s side every year. We begin in November and prepare hundreds of them to give to family and friends. It gives us such joy.
We will be spending Christmas Eve with my husband’s family this year. We will enjoy a delicious dinner, but no seafood. I cooked a seafood stew yesterday to honor the season and celebrate my Italian heritage.
Buon Natale!
Great stories! A neighbor from Maine insists on seven fish stew too!
I’d never heard of the Seven Fishes. This has been wonderful reading!
Merry Christmas Everyone
It is snowing here on Christmas Eve in the Atlantic provinces, a first in many years! We will be having scallops and pasta in cream sauce tonight. Tomorrow we will all be tucked in at our daughter’s home for dinner.I’ll be bringing the turkey and trimmings. I have a Christmas cookie recipe to share but wanted to send a photo of it….oh well….will share it later when time to write it out….I lovveeee chocolate but these frosted lemon cookies changed that for me! Loved this post!